


vicious eyes

by shazi_the_storyteller



Series: the hero's world [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Anxiety, Body Image, Bulimia, Crying Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Depression, Developing Relationship, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, F/M, Happy Ending, Identity Reveal, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Needs a Break, Original Akuma, Panic Attacks, Purging, Self-Esteem Issues, Supportive Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Supportive Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), as in the relationship isn't the main focus, but it's there i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 35,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shazi_the_storyteller/pseuds/shazi_the_storyteller
Summary: Marinette hung her head, an icy cold flooding her veins. Being Ladybug in general was exhausting, but this was painful. Her stomach growled, and she crossed her arms in front of her, pressing her fists into the softness in a futile effort to stop the hunger pangs.“Marinette, the only thing you've eaten today was that bite of apple.”She sighed. “I know, Tikki.”“You're hungry. You should eat.”“And what?” she asked, her voice rising. “Get even more 'LadyBIG?'” Marinette rubbed at her temples. “I can't risk that happening."...Being in the public eye is tough, and when Ladybug's bullies start picking apart her appearance, Marinette begins to wonder whether they have a point. This sends her down a slippery slope that begins to threaten not only her health, but the safety of Paris.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: the hero's world [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101485
Comments: 293
Kudos: 589





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hope you like this so far :) let me know what you think in the comments!

“Mari, honey, why the long face? Is everything okay?” M. Dupain smiled at his daughter and reached out to touch her hand. The Dupain-Cheng family was eating dinner together, although Marinette’s usual enthusiasm (and big appetite) were replaced with a solemn girl who seemed almost at the brink of tears.

Marinette flinched, lifting her head and glancing at her parents before forcing a faint smile and saying, “I’m alright, Papa, thank you.” She turned her attention back to her mostly full plate, pushing food around with her fork and not making an effort to keep up a conversation.

Her parents exchanged concerned glances. “Well, just remember that we’re always here for you, sweetheart,” said Mme. Cheng. “We love you, okay?”

Marinette nodded, though her attention seemed elsewhere at the moment. “Yes, Maman, thank you.” After a quiet few minutes, she sighed and asked her parents if she could be excused. At their resigned nods, Marinette emptied her plate, raced upstairs to her room, and burst into tears.

Tikki flew out of Marinette’s purse and reached out to pat her cheek. “Marinette,” she murmured. “Marinette, please don't cry.”

Marinette sniffled. I'm sorry, Tikki. I just...I don't know what to do.” Her mind refused to stop replaying those moments just earlier today.

She was sitting in class, catching up on some schoolwork while they waited for Mme. Bustier when Alya turned to her, her face contorted with disgust. 

“Marinette, look at this guy filling in for Nadja Chamack. He's such a jerk.”

Marinette frowned. “What did he do?” she asked, turning to look at Alya’s phone screen. She pressed play.

“And look at Ladybug and Chat Noir, fighting the latest akuma. They seem to be struggling quite a bit this time around.”

Privately, Marinette winced. That last akuma was a civilian’s dog angry at his owner for not playing with him. It was hard to fight a dog without hurting him or being able to communicate at all. “Maybe it's a little harsh, but what's so bad?” she asked Alya.

“Keep watching!”

Marinette turned back to the news report. “Hey, look at Ladybug for a moment.” The camera zoomed in on a still of her swinging. “This just in, Ladybug is getting LadyBIG. The traditionally svelte superheroine might need to lay off the pastries a bit. After all, the fate of Paris rests on her and Chat Noir. A bigger bug can't yo-yo her way across Paris, after all.”

Marinette paled and paused the video. She didn't think she looked that different. Although, she had been stressed lately and she did eat some extra late-night snacks while studying for exams after a particularly busy few weeks. Her hands went to her stomach. Was he right? Was she getting chubby?

“Isn't that disgusting?” asked Alya. “Not a word about Chat Noir, and besides, Ladybug looks great. What if she sees this?”

“Y-Yeah,” Marinette agreed, forcing herself to act calm. “He's being a jerk. Have other people said anything?”

“That's the worst part!” she cried. “There are all of these horrible people coming out, finding other ways to nitpick at her appearance. Don't they realize that she's keeping them all safe?” Alya flipped through some screenshots and photos of the cyberbullying, and Marinette’s stomach turned. 

“How many people are making these types of comments about Ladybug?” she asked, though she didn't want to know the answer.

“Too many!” said Alya with a groan. “I don't get it.” She paused. "Maybe I'll make a statement on the Ladyblog. You know, that's a good idea.” She murmured to herself, turning away.

Marinette had continued working on her schoolwork, but inside her mind was racing. Did all these people really think that about her?

Back in her room, Marinette sobbed to Tikki, these same thoughts cycling through her head. Random strangers were banding together to call her ugly and fat and unfit to be a superhero. Sure, she had her supporters, but the news report had gone viral and the online bullies emerged, picking every aspect of her appearance apart.

“Marinette, you can't listen to them!” insisted Tikki. "They're just bullies. You're beautiful and you're an amazing Ladybug.”

“I know, Tikki, but what if they have a point?” She sighed. “I have to be healthy in order to be a good Ladybug. That's my responsibility, whether I like it or not. I should be more mindful of that.”

“But you are healthy! You've been amazing so far, easily one of the best Ladybugs. You've done things none of your predecessors have.”

Marinette knew Tikki was right, to some extent, but she also knew that if she could get the media and the public off her back, that life would be easier. Being Ladybug was already stressful enough; it was better to just take care of things sooner.

“I promise, Tikki, I'm just making life easier for all of us. Besides, I'm the baker’s daughter! I probably need more vegetables in my diet anyways.” 

“I don't know, Marinette…”

“I love you, Tikki, but you're overreacting. I'm just going on a little diet. That's it.”

“Just…Be careful.”

Marinette gave Tikki a watery smile. “Of course I will. I'm Ladybug, remember?” She wiped at her eyes. “Trust me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everybody!! i'm thrilled at the response to my first chapter! i'm new to writing for this fandom (and fanfiction in general) so it's really encouraging! as always, let me know what you think in the comments! concrit is always welcome, and PLEASE let me know if i missed any content warnings so i can update my tags/notes :)) 
> 
> \- shazi <3

Marinette woke up with a new determination to fix everything. A fresh start, in a way, she told herself. She threw on her day clothes and packed her bag, Tikki hovering over her and reminding her of how beautiful she was.

Marinette smiled at her kwami. “You’re so sweet, Tikki. I honestly feel much better today!”

Tikki smiled. “I’m glad. Now hurry up and finish changing so you can grab breakfast and get to school on time.”

Marinette stilled. Breakfast. She wasn’t planning on eating anything, not yet, but Tikki’s reminder tempted her. Lately her parents had been experimenting with new recipes and making her taste-test them under the guise of breakfast. But a _pastry?_

She took a deep breath. She was Ladybug. She was strong and she had enough willpower to resist throwing away so many calories first thing that morning.

Tikki frowned. “You okay, Marinette?”

Marinette smiled. “Yeah, Tikki. Let’s get going.” She bounded down the stairs, grinning at her parents and waving as she headed towards the door.

“Morning!” said Mme. Cheng. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

“Good, Maman! I think I just needed some rest.”

“Glad to hear it!” said M. Dupain, pulling a tray out of the oven. “Would you like a cherry danish for breakfast?” 

Marinette shook her head. “Thank you, Papa, but I’m running late for class! Goodbye!” Before her parents could protest, she was out the door and on her way to Françoise Dupont. 

“Marinette…” Tikki whispered.

“What is it, Tikki?” she asked, subtly opening her purse so she could see her little kwami.

“I don’t think this is a good idea. You need to eat in order to have energy, Marinette. What if, you know, _he_ decides to do something? You can’t swing around Paris on an empty stomach.”

Marinette smiled. “Tikki, look at me! I have so much energy! I’m going to be okay, I promise. It’s not like I’m not eating at all, you know.”

“I know, I’m just worried.”

Marinette took a deep breath as a gentle breeze drifted by her. “I know. And I’m grateful, I promise, but I'm alright.”

“Okay,” said Tikki, though she still sounded unconvinced.

Marinette smiled at her before closing her purse and making her way to school. Her kwami’s warning lingered in the back of her mind, but she pushed it aside. Today would be a good day.

**…**

Marinette left Mme. Bustier's classroom with Alya as they made their way to the cafeteria. Alya filled her tray, but Marinette decided on a single green apple.

They found seats at a table with Adrien and Nino. As they sat down, Adrien frowned.

“Marinette, is that all you're eating?” he asked.

Marinette blanched as she turned to Adrien. _Stay calm and don't act like an idiot,_ she told herself. “Uhhhhhh,” she said, frantically trying to come up with a convincing lie. She grinned sheepishly and ran a hand over her hair. “ _Well,_ my, er, parents were…making cherry danishes this morning! To, uh, experiment and, you know…broaden their baking horizons? And, naturally, they wanted me to taste test. Problem is, they're both incredible bakers, obviously, so I, uh, ended up eating a few more danishes than I planned. So I don't really have much of an appetite. But thank you for asking.” 

Adrien opened his mouth to say something before Nino interjected. “Yo those danishes sound _awesome,_ Marinette! I'll have to stop by the bakery.”

Adrien’s eyes narrowed for a moment before he smiled and said, “Yeah! If my father lets me, I'll have to swing by sometime.” Marinette returned his smile, but she’d stared at enough photos of him to know that he was flashing his model smile, not the smile that lit up his face and made her want to keep staring at him.

Alya smiled at Marinette and gently elbowed her. “That sounds like the best perk of being the bakers’ daughter. You get all the free samples you could ever want.”

Marinette forced herself to laugh along with everyone at the table before taking a bite of her apple and slowly chewing it. A sourness filled her mouth, and in the back of her mind she wondered if it was from the apple or her lying to her friends.

“I can't _believe_ Ladybug! If _I_ was in her place, I would _never_ let myself go the way she has! It's ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!” 

Marinette nearly choked on her mouthful of apple, coughing into a napkin. A concerned Alya whacked her on the back with perhaps slightly more force than necessary until Marinette was able to regain her composure. Everyone in the cafeteria was silent except for a petulant Chloé. 

“What did you say, Chloé?” asked Marinette, tentatively breaking the silence.

She rolled her eyes. “I _said,_ I would be a much better Ladybug. _I_ wouldn't let myself go the way she has. I mean, look at her!” Chloé scrolled through her phone before finding the picture broadcast on the news yesterday and showing it to everyone. “Look at her! Does _that_ look like Ladybug?”

Alya pinched the bridge of her nose. “She looks the same, Chloé. You're buying into these sexist reports that care more about what Ladybug looks like than the fact that she's saving us all every day!”

Chloé marched over to their table and shoved the picture in Alya’s face. “Don't you see her stomach sticking out? And that roll on her side? Not like her bodysuit is doing her any favors, anyways.”

Marinette shrunk at Chloé’s words, but Alya was fuming, her fists clenched. However, before she could say anything to Chloé, Adrien interrupted. “Chloé, please stop,” he said, eyes blazing.

Chloé wrinkled her nose and turned to him. “Huh?”

He stood up. “You're being mean, Chloé. You're just jumping on this trend because you're still upset at her.” Adrien scoffed. “I can see why Ladybug stopped asking for Queen Bee’s help. You're not exactly acting like a superhero right now.”

Marinette turned to Aiden, a sudden rush of affection for him making her heart beat faster. His gorgeous, angry eyes were still fixed on Chloé.

Chloé frowned. “But...But Adrikins! Can't you see what's in front of you? Do you really want _that_ defending Paris?”

“Ladybug is a _she,_ not a _that._ And yes, I do.”

Chloé locked eyes with Adrien, who crossed his arms and gave her an icy glare that gave Marinette chills. Chloé scoffed, flipping her hair and turning around, away from their table.

Adrien sighed and sat back down. “I hate that Ladybug’s been caught in all this. She hasn't done anything to deserve it.”

“I guess people just like something to blame,” said Nino. “You know, like something to talk about so they don't have to worry about the real stuff that's going on.”

“Are you okay, Marinette?” asked Adrien. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

Marinette stiffened. “Uh, y-yeah,” she said, feeling herself blush. “I just...I'll be right back. Restroom.” She got up with a start before hurrying to the bathroom, her mostly uneaten apple left at the table.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends!! i hope you're all having a wonderful day/afternoon/evening wherever you are :) 
> 
> this is totally random but i'm kinda curious- what kinds of fanfic do you guys like to read/write? haha i love some good fluff but for some reason i never find myself writing it! i also don't read/write super romancey stuff (although maybe you can see the love square sucking me in a little as i wrote this chapter, so i might end up exploring that plotline, we'll see!) i'm sure you all have great taste, so let me know in the comments <3 
> 
> -shazi

When she made it to the empty bathroom and locked the stall door, Tikki flew out. Marinette buried her head in her arms, sitting down on the seat. 

“Why do I feel so awful, Tikki?” she asked, her eyes welling up. “Adrien and Alya and Nino all defended me, but I can't stop thinking about what Chloé said.”

“It's normal.” Tikki held Marinette’s pinky. “Chloé was being mean, and it's harder to stop listening to the mean voices.”

Marinette hung her head, an icy cold flooding her veins. Being Ladybug in general was exhausting, but this was painful. Her stomach growled, and she crossed her arms in front of her, pressing her fists into the softness in a futile effort to stop the hunger pangs.

“Marinette, the only thing you've eaten today was that bite of apple.”

She sighed. “I know, Tikki.”

“You're hungry. You should eat.”

“And what?” she asked, her voice rising. “Get even more LadyBIG?” Marinette rubbed at her temples. “I can't risk that happening. Those newscasters would rip me to shreds.”

“But when are you going to stop?”

Marinette frowned. “Stop what?”

“This! This, whatever you're doing. When will you start eating normally again?”

Marinette hesitated. “Eating normally got me to this point. I don't know if I can ever go back.”

“Marinette, that's dangerous,” Tikki insisted, fear edging her voice. 

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Marinette groaned. “No matter what I do, I'm too fat or too unhealthy or not good at my job and I'm _sick_ of it, Tikki! I never even asked for this.”

“The only people you should care about are the people who love you! Like me, or your parents, or Alya or Nino or Adrien or—or Chat Noir.”

“Yeah, I suppose you're right,” Marinette mumbled, though she didn’t quite believe her.

“Now let's get out of here! The lunch period is almost over!”

Marinette smiled faintly at Tikki, heading over to the sink to splash some water on her face and pretend that she was alright to all her waiting friends.

**…**

Ladybug soared across the Parisian rooftops toward her and Chat’s unofficial meeting spot, a particularly nice roof with a lovely view of the sunset. She had heeded Tikki’s advice and ate a salad before leaving for patrol, hoping the chopped vegetables (she opted to avoid a dressing) wouldn't somehow make her fatter. Nevertheless, she was incredibly hungry, and even after devouring the salad her body still wanted more. But she drew the line there, at least for today.

Ladybug loved being outside, the fresh air flying past her as she watched her fellow Parisians going about their days, sometimes waving at her and smiling as they watched the red silhouette patrolling the city. She always liked saying hi to the civilians, although today she didn't for fear of them seeing her up close and personal.

Chat Noir was already there, lying on the rooftop and casually playing with his staff. As soon as he saw Ladybug approaching, he stood up and ran a hand through his hair, further messing up his already disheveled look. 

“Milady,” he said, giving her his classic Chat Noir grin. “Beautiful as always, naturally.”

“Don't,” she snapped, an edge to her voice. Instantly she regretted it. She didn't usually humor Chat much to begin with, but they both knew she wasn't quick to anger.

Ladybug sighed. “Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you.”

“It's okay, Bugaboo,” said Chat Noir, running a hand through his hair. He paused and gave her another look. “How are you doing?”

Ladybug frowned. “What do you mean? I'm fine.” She turned away from him. “We should get to work.”

Chat Noir reached out, placing a gentle hand on Ladybug’s shoulder. She startled and brushed his hand off. “Don’t touch me.” Could he feel how fat she was getting through her shoulder?

“Ladybug?” His voice was soft and something inside her melted a little. She turned back around.

“I'm sorry for getting mad, Chat,” she said, not quite meeting his eyes. “What is it?”

“It's you,” he said, and for a moment Ladybug felt a fist seize her throat. “I'm worried about you. The news yesterday was brutal, and I know _I_ wouldn't be feeling great if I was in your shoes.”

Ladybug put on a smile. “It was a little rough, but I'm okay, Chat, I promise. What kind of superhero would I be if I couldn't take a little constructive criticism?”

Chat Noir shook his head in disbelief. “You're calling it constructive criticism? Seriously?”

“Yeah, why?” Ladybug crossed her arms defensively.

“I know it doesn't mean much coming from me, but you're _beautiful,_ Milady. And besides, it's not like either of us has gotten any worse at saving Paris on a regular basis. How you look doesn't have anything to do with your skill as a superhero.”

“Yeah, but people are still talking about it, Chat. If I don't take at least some of that criticism, then that's all people are going to think about when they see me.”

Chat Noir let out a rueful laugh. “I get that. I’m a mo—I mean, as a civilian, I’ve worked with some people in the fashion industry, in the public eye. It's tough being in the public eye, but they'll eventually forget, Ladybug.”

“You don't know that! I'm the only superhero the media is talking about right now, and it’s not like they’ll be targeting you anytime soon. You look great. I don’t.”

“I appreciate the compliment, Bugaboo, but trust me, they’ll forget.”

“But what if they don't? People aren't going to forget me being LadyBig for a while, Chat. I just want to avoid people talking about me like that, at least for a while.”

Chat sighed. “Yeah, I get it. Just…be careful, okay? It's not as fun saving Paris without having a partner to talk to.”

Ladybug smiled. “Thanks, _chaton._ That means a lot.” Even if she didn’t quite believe him, talking to Chat Noir made her feel a little better.  
He softened. “Of course, Ladybug. I’m always here for you.” Chat grinned and leaped to a different rooftop. “Now let’s get started with patrol!”

Ladybug smiled and shook her head before launching her yo-yo and following her partner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! i hope you all have had a wonderful day and a great start to your week! i wanted to note that in addition to all of the content warnings i've added in the tags, in the middle of this chapter there's a subtle reference to a character thinking about self-harm. it's very brief and not explicit whatsoever, but you know yourself best so stay safe <3 as a general note, i haven't and don't plan on writing self-harming behaviors in graphic detail! so for example, while i might describe a character's thoughts/feelings after purging or vaguely allude to it, i won't describe the actual process :) take care, and i hope you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> -shazi <3  
> p.s. i absolutely love reading comments so let me know what you have to say about this story/chapter!!

Some days Marinette felt like a zombie. The days started blurring together, and it was getting harder and harder to convince herself to get out of bed. She was usually an early bird, always trying to start the day with some productivity, but she was sleeping in later and later. 

Marinette was used to anxiety, to adrenaline buzzing through her as she fought an akuma or stammered around Adrien or raced to finish her work before class started. She was used to the thoughts barraging her: worries about balancing her civilian and superhero lives, about messing up and jeopardizing Paris, and lately, about what the public would say about her appearance. She knew she was far more stressed than a teen should be, but she also knew that she could handle it, could channel her racing heart and painful energy into something productive.

She wasn't used to nothing. It frightened her.

One day in particular, Marinette slept in until noon and couldn't will herself to do anything for two more hours other than stare at her ceiling as she lay in her bed. When her parents came to check on her, they said that she looked exhausted and convinced her to eat a bowl of soup while they watched. She forced herself to eat it all, smiling and lying that she felt better as her stomach swelled, unused to so much food at once. The tender look on their faces made her cry as she knelt in front of the toilet. 

Marinette knew she was only hurting herself. She knew that her parents were worried about her, that they trusted her and that she was betraying them with each lie brushing off their concerns. She knew that Tikki watched everything she was putting herself through, and it destroyed her. But how could she explain to them that life was too much sometimes, that she was exhausted and afraid and that the knifelike edge of hunger helped her feel _something_ amid the numbness?

More than once, she wondered if everyone would be better off without her. Her loved ones wouldn't have to deal with her misery, and surely there was another, far more qualified Ladybug to replace her. She knew she could never act on those thoughts, could never hurt her loved ones like that, but they still intruded.

Each day grew harder and harder. Marinette wondered how long she could survive like this, how long it would take before she finally broke. She tried to find ways to pierce through the numbness, but when she looked at a pair of scissors for too long, Tikki grabbed them and flew the blades away from her. 

Tikki begged her every day to ask for help, to eat one more bite, to get out of bed. Marinette knew she was being awful to her kwami, that it broke Tikki to see her torturing herself like this, but she didn't know what to do. Her parents didn't need Marinette as an extra stress in their life, her friends relied on her, she had to maintain her grades and keep up with her designing, and she had an entire city to save on a regular basis. It was so much, and sometimes she worried it was too much for her to handle, that she was always destined to burn out and end up like this. A pathetic, sad, numb blob whose fate was inescapable.

Her friends started noticing too. Adrien would call her out for not eating enough during their lunch period, and Marinette eventually started eating lunch again, hoping they didn't notice how she would try to empty herself out as soon as she could. Alya saw that she was getting thinner, that the dark circles under her eyes were more prominent, that her face looked hollow. She would invite Marinette to go out with her and the other girls, to spend time laughing and joking and being happy, and it would help Marinette for a little while before the darkness clawed its way back in. Nino would make mixtapes for her and crack jokes and be as happy and supportive as he could, but Marinette knew he noticed when she looked too exhausted to even walk.

Marinette could have sworn she lied more times in the past month alone than she did her entire life. It killed her, each lie tearing her to shreds, but the fear of her friends knowing the truth about how broken she was kept her mouth shut. 

Ladybug’s performance took a hit too. While her usual energetic personality amplified by the magical suit usually allowed her to swing around Paris and regularly fight Hawk Moth’s akumas, now it was getting harder. She stumbled more, her reflexes slower. Chat noticed, regularly asking her if she was okay, and she always brushed it off with as much faux Ladybug confidence as she could muster. She hated how she snapped at him, got mad at him for constantly asking her if she was okay. She knew he cared, that he was concerned about her, but it angered her. She didn't deserve for someone to care like he did. It would only make it harder on him as he watched her wither away. 

Marinette’s hope that the heavy blanket would lift off of her waned with each passing day. But she knew that she couldn't give up, not yet. So she persisted, wondering how much longer she could survive like this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! i hope you all have had an amazing day and a MIRACULOUS start to your week! times are tough right now so i hope you're all staying safe and finding ways to keep yourselves sane right now <3 enjoy this next chapter!
> 
> \- shazi
> 
> p.s. you're all absolutely lovely and i adore chatting with you! as always, let me know any thoughts in the comments :)

Marinette left the bathroom, the lowest-calorie mint she could find dissolving on her tongue so she could mask the taste and stench of bile mixed with the chicken and salad she had just eaten. Her hands were shaking and she felt as strong as a rag doll, but she forced a cheerful smile on her face that vanished the second she saw Adrien watching her, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

Marinette plastered on a smile and waved. “H-Hey, Adrien.” Was she blushing? Honestly, she wasn't sure of anything other than how weak and tired she felt. Hopefully she’d feel better for patrols later today. “What’s up?”

Adrien’s eyes were narrowed, his eyebrows knit together in a frown. The intensity of his gaze caught Marinette off guard, sending a chill through her body. He wasn't even smiling. 

“I'm worried about you, Marinette.”

Panic seized Marinette's throat. Did he know? Has he told anyone? She knew her friends had been getting suspicious, but she thought she'd done a good job of convincing all of them that she was fine, that they had nothing to worry about. Apparently not Adrien.

Marinette let out a weak chuckle. “What are you talking about, Adrien? I'm fine, I promise.”

“Please Marinette, don't lie to me.”

“But I'm not lying,” she insisted.

“Yes you ARE!” Adrien shouted. His eyes widened and he took a step back. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled,” he apologized, lowering his voice. “I care about you, Marinette. You're scaring me.”

“But why? I'm not _doing_ anything!” 

Adrien deflated. “I know you're not eating. I pointed it out, but now as soon as you finish eating lunch you excuse yourself to go to the restroom.” He sighed. “I'm a model, Marinette. I know all the tricks, either from seeing my friends using them or doing them myself. But it's a slippery slope.”

Marinette looked at him, her heart racing as she met his gaze. “Don't you trust me?”

“I _know_ you, Marinette. You're smart and determined and a hard worker, and that just makes it more dangerous for you. I've seen this end very badly for lots of incredible people. People like you, who are so persistent and focused on achieving their goals that by the time they realize what they’re doing to themselves it’s too late.”

He thought she was _incredible_? Maybe there was hope for the two of them! But no, she had to focus. She knew that Adrien knew the truth, that she wouldn't be able to lie her way out of this situation. Maybe she—

Lie her way out? Her _first_ instinct was to lie, to keep lying her way out of situations. What the hell happened to her? 

Marinette sighed. “Look, Adrien. Your concern means a lot to me, truly. But I'm fine.” She looked away. “You should get going. I don't want you to be late for class. I'll catch up with you in a bit.”

“Marinette, please, I'm just trying to help you,” he pleaded. She could’ve sworn his eyes filled with tears.

“There's nothing to fix.” The taste of the lie on her tongue mixed with the awful bile and mint still in her mouth.

“Marinette, I—” His voice broke. “I’m scared. Just…promise me you'll be okay.”

Marinette smiled. “I'll be fine. Now go. I'll see you in class.”

Adrien reluctantly turned around, glancing back at her before slowly leaving for class. As soon as she was confident he was out of earshot, Marinette sank to the ground.

“I'm awful,” she whispered to herself, wiping at her eyes. “Adrien could never love someone as pathetic as I am. _I_ hate myself.”

Tikki hesitantly flew out, and after making sure nobody was around, she flew to Marinette and quietly rested herself on her partner’s head. Marinette noticed that Tikki stopped her usual barrage of compliments every time Marinette cried or broke down. She figured it must be exhausting being the only creature Marinette could confide in. And that made Marinette hate herself more.

“I'm sorry, Tikki,” she mumbled. “You should go find a new Ladybug.”

“You know I'm not going to do that, Marinette. You're the best one for the job.” 

“But I'm _not,_ Tikki, why can't you understand that? I can't even take care of myself.” She let out a shuddering sigh. “I don't know what to do.”

“That's not true. You know what you need to do.”

“I _don't_!” Marinette shouted, batting Tikki away. She gasped and her hands started shaking. “I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me.”

Tikki’s eyes welled up. “You know what's wrong with you. You're going to die if you keep this up, Marinette.” She flew into Marinette’s bag and sealed it shut.

Marinette sat there trembling. What was wrong with her? How could she lash out at _Tikki,_ one of the kindest souls she knew? It just made her hate herself more. 

She knew that part of her terrible behavior was that she wasn't healthy, that she wasn't eating. But how much of it was something deeper inside of her, a cruel, vindictive part of herself that lay dormant until now? What if she was always terrible and had only fooled herself until now?

Marinette stood and headed to the nearest sink, where she splashed cold water on her face. Her face was red and her eyes puffy, but she hoped she was able to make herself seem at least somewhat normal. She was already late for class.

Marinette dried her face and took a deep breath, trying to channel a little Ladybug confidence. She'd be okay. At least, she hoped so.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello everybody! i hope you're having an amazing start to your week :) sorry not sorry for the plethora of puns in this chapter, by the way! fun fact: in order to come up with the ideas for this akuma/lucky charm, i just used a random object generator! massive props to whoever comes up with the akuma ideas/solutions in the show because it's way harder than i expected!
> 
> i hope you enjoy this chapter! i adore reading comments so leave your thoughts!!
> 
> \- shazi 
> 
> P.S. are you a coffee or a tea person? tea all the way for me!!

After a brief apology for being late to Mme. Mendeleiev after class, Marinette caught up with Alya. 

“Hey Alya, what's up?” she asked.

“I have way too much work to do,” Alya complained. “Don't our teachers know we're drowning in schoolwork?”

Marinette chuckled. “So do I. It's not fair!”

Alya grinned. “How about we go study together? That new coffee shop down the street, _Le Beau Café_ , is really good!”

Marinette plastered on a smile, though her mind was racing. She couldn't go to a coffee shop! She'd be forced to eat there! “I'd love to,” she lied. “Let's—” She pulled out her phone and pretended to scroll through, as if she'd just received a message. “Oh no,” she said, acting as disappointed as she could. “My parents need help at the bakery. I'm really sorry, Alya.”

Alya smiled and jokingly shooed her away. “Go help your parents. But we need to meet up soon, it's been ages! Say hi to M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng for me!”

Marinette grinned. “I will! Bye Alya!” She started walking back to the _Boulangerie Patisserie_ when a wave of the overwhelming scent of espresso hit her, almost knocking her back. Marinette froze. Was it an akuma? She turned around and saw Alya, who looked similarly confused, and headed toward her.

“Alya, do you smell that?”

She turned to her friend. “Yeah. It smells like the coffee from _Le Beau Café._ I wonder—”

Marinette frowned. “You wonder what? Alya, what—” She saw her friend pointing, and followed her gaze to see a man in the distance, wearing a…coffee cup on his head?

Alya pulled out her phone. Nadja Chamack appeared on screen, as well as a close-up of a man wearing a coffee cup helmet and an apron and riding what appeared to be a wave of coffee through Paris.

Alya grinned. “Ladybug and Chat Noir are going to get a kick out of this. Hopefully they like coffee.”

Marinette didn't, for the record. But she didn't have much time, so she said, “I need to check to make sure my parents are okay. Stay safe, Alya!”

“You too!” she called as Marinette started running for the nearest alleyway. When she knew she was alone, she opened her bag and Tikki flew out.

A wave of guilt flooded her. “Tikki, I—”

“Stop it, Marinette. You have a job to do. I'm fine.”

Marinette sighed. “You're right. Tikki, spots on!”

Tikki flew into her earrings and a burst of colors and ladybugs emerged. She felt energized in her Ladybug suit, almost forgetting how weak and miserable she had felt earlier. It probably helped that the powerful espresso smell did wonders for waking her up. 

Ladybug leaped onto the building’s rooftop and started leaping toward the akuma, wondering when Chat Noir would show up. 

“Hello Milady,” he said, flashing his Chat Noir grin. “You're looking _brew_ tiful today.”

Ladybug groaned, though she couldn't help cracking a slight smile. Chat would never let her live it down if he realized she didn't entirely hate his puns. “Are you going to make coffee puns this whole time?” she asked.

“What do you _bean_ , Bugaboo? Are you not a coffee person?”

Ladybug launched her yo-yo and swung across her parents’ rooftop. “Funnily enough, I'm not! Tea is far superior, _mon chaton._ ” She felt breathless, even though normally she could carry a conversation and fight an akuma while hardly breaking a sweat. 

“You’re making me _tea_ r up! Is this going to be the _bitter_ end to our relationship?”

Ladybug grunted as she swung across a few more rooftops. “Good to know you have terrible taste in beverages,” she teased.

“Admit it, I’m still your bes _tea_. You love me, Bugaboo.”

Ladybug grinned and rolled her eyes. “Maybe just a little.”

Together they landed on a rooftop overlooking the scene: the coffee-cup-hat-wearing man was indeed riding on a wave of coffee through the streets and splashing onlookers with his piping hot coffee. The people who were splashed turned into his puppets, coffee-loving robots following him and forcing people to join them.

The man cackled. “Ladybug? Chat Noir? Come out so old Depresso can give you a taste of my premium coffee! _Everyone_ will love it by the time I'm through!”

“I recognize him!” cried Chat. “It's M. Cadieux, from that coffee shop, _Le Beau Café._ I highly recommend it if you get the chance, it's really quite—” 

Ladybug cut him off. “Any ideas for where the akuma is?” She was panting slightly, and Chat turned to her.

“Are you okay, Milady? You're usually not that out of breath this early in a fight. Is something wrong?”

Ladybug’s smile vanished. “I'm _fine_ , Chat. Stop asking.” 

Chat held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Okay, Okay. I'm only asking because you _bean_ so much to me.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes, trying to ignore Chat’s comment. “Talk about _deja brew._ You already used that one, Chat.”

Chat Noir gasped and turned to Ladybug. “Was that a pun I heard, Bugaboo?” he asked, a grin creeping onto his face.

Ladybug smiled, hoping she distracted Chat from his concern about her. “Let's do this, come on. We need to figure out where the akuma is.”

The two of them leaped in and Ladybug swung her yo-yo to try to restrain Depresso. Normally it would’ve been easy, but her hand started trembling and instead of wrapping around the shopkeeper, it harmlessly glanced off his coffee-cup-helmet. Depresso turned towards her and his face broke into a grin.

“Ladybug. Chat Noir. Thanks a _latte_ for showing up! It will be my pleasure to take your Miraculouses.” Depresso lifted his arms and hot coffee shot from them, towards Ladybug and Chat Noir. They jumped out of the way, though Ladybug could feel the heat emanating from the boiling liquid as it shot past her. 

Wow. That almost hit her. Ladybug shook her head and tried to focus. 

“That's enough, Depresso!” she shouted, her voice stronger than she felt. “Don't let Hawk Moth control you!”

Depresso paused for a moment as if to contemplate what she said before shooting another blast of coffee at them. 

“I wasn't expecting this guy to greet us with _mugs_ and kisses, but this is ridiculous!” joked Chat Noir as he dodged the spray.

“How many of those puns you got, _chaton_?”

He grinned. “I'm just that witty, Bugaboo. Look out!”

Ladybug turned and leaped out of the way when she saw the spray of coffee coming toward her. But she was slow today, so instead of landing gracefully next to Chat Noir, she found herself barely managing to grab the edge of the roof. Chat pulled her up as she regained her balance, but her heart was racing. 

“That was close, Ladybug,” Chat pointed out, a concerned expression on his face. “Not to grind the same bean twice, but are you _sure_ you’re okay?”

Ladybug brushed herself off, cursing herself for being so slow. She wasn't thinking straight, wasn't on her game, and Chat Noir was noticing. “Too close,” she admitted before changing the subject. “Do you have any idea where the akuma is?”

“I think it's in his nametag,” he suggested. “We could probably use your Lucky Charm now.”

“Good point,” she said, panting a little. Ugh, how embarrassing. She wasn't usually out of breath this early in the fight. But Chat Noir didn't point it out, so she threw her yo-yo in the air and called, “Lucky Charm!”

The yo-yo started spinning, and in a cloud of light and magical ladybugs, something appeared before dropping into her open hands.

A paintbrush.

Ladybug stared at it, rolling it between her fingers as she tried to think. What could she use a paintbrush for? She glanced around looking for anything, _anyone_ who could help.

“Any ideas, Milady?” Chat asked. “Watch out!” he cried, grabbing her and vaulting both of them away from another spray of boiling coffee. 

“No!” She groaned, tempted to snap the thing in two. “What good is a _paintbrush_?” Ladybug rubbed her temples, trying to figure out something to break through the fog in her mind. “I don't know what to do.” And she only had five minutes to figure it out.

“Hey, it's okay. You'll figure it out,” reassured Chat. “You always do.” He stole a glance at Depresso. “Ideally before the fight gets too _heated_.”

The two of them dodged another spray and Ladybug tried to think. Was there a place to jam the paintbrush? Maybe she could get Depresso to trip over it? Her earrings beeped, and she stiffened. Four minutes.

“Any ideas?”

“No! Keep distracting him!”

Ladybug watched Chat leap from rooftop to rooftop, dodging Depresso’s attacks while she stood there with a paintbrush. Her stomach growled and she wondered if she should eat after the fight. _No._ She needed to focus. But she couldn't think. Her mind was stuck on her achingly empty stomach.

Her earrings beeped. Three minutes.

She stared hard at the paintbrush, trying to bring herself to focus. People's _lives_ were at stake and she couldn't figure out her stupid Lucky Charm. 

Unless…

“Chat Noir!” she called. 

He jumped up to her. “Ladybug?”

Ladybug bit back a laugh. The idea was ridiculous but she didn't have another one. “I need your help. Distract him while I get him from behind. Then Cataclysm his nametag, okay?”

“Got it.” He leaped toward Depresso.

Ladybug sighed. “I hope he's ticklish.” Her earrings beeped. Two minutes. She didn't have any more time.

Ladybug swung around Depresso, jumping off of a tree and landing just behind him, gripping her paintbrush. 

Then she dropped it.

Depresso swiveled around to find Ladybug frantically grabbing the paintbrush and jumping away, shooting a panicked glance at Chat Noir before balling her trembling hands into fists. 

Chat quickly raised his arm and shouted, “Cataclysm!”, distracting Depresso long enough for Ladybug to sneak behind him. 

Ladybug grabbed the paintbrush and started aggressively brushing the only skin Depresso had exposed: his neck. Her hands were still shaking, but regardless of her lack of an artists’ touch, it seemed to be working. He stiffened before starting to flail around, laughing uncontrollably. Ladybug leaped out of the way and wrapped her yo-yo around his feet, knocking him to the ground just as Chat Noir cataclysmed his nametag. 

The akuma fluttered out of the shattered nametag, and Ladybug got to work.

“No more evildoing for you, little akuma,” she said, opening her yo-yo. “Time to de-evilize!”

She caught the akuma, and the delicate white butterfly flew out. “Bye-bye little butterfly,” she murmured before throwing her paintbrush in the air and shouting, “Miraculous Ladybug!” so the magical ladybugs would repair the damage done to Paris.

She turned to Chat Noir and offered a fist bump. “Pound it?” Her earrings beeped. One minute.

Chat Noir stared at her before grabbing her by the shoulders and leaning close to get a good look at her. “That was dangerous, Ladybug. We had too many close calls today. _You_ had too many close calls.”

“W-What? Chat, what are you saying?” She hoped he couldn't hear the panic edging her voice.

Chat Noir extended his staff and said, “I'm not blind—I can see what you're doing to yourself, and it's serious. You're sick. If you don't get help then you're going to put not only yourself in danger but all of Paris.” He turned away for a moment before looking back at her. “Ladybug, I—” Chat’s voice broke. “I’m scared. Just…promise me you'll be okay.”

Then he vaulted away, running across the rooftops and away from the stunned Ladybug left alone on the sidewalk.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello, my wonderful readers! how are you all doing? hopefully you're all doing okay! i wanted to note here that there is a binge episode non-graphically described and alluded to in this chapter, so be safe and take care!
> 
> -shazi <3
> 
> P.S. i can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts!

For a moment Ladybug felt rooted in place, as if Chat Noir’s words glued her to that spot on the pavement. But as the civilians pulled out their phones and the reporters started coming, Ladybug leaped onto the nearest roof and sprinted to a secluded alleyway so she wouldn't end up detransforming on live television.

Seconds after her ungraceful landing, the magical ladybugs surrounded her and her Ladybug bodysuit disappeared. Marinette stayed there, kneeling on the ground, as Tikki cautiously flew toward her.

“Marinette? Are you okay?”

Marinette wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head. “I think I really do have a problem,” she whispered. She was so weak, so tired. She almost destroyed Paris. Now that the adrenaline was fading and her Ladybug suit wasn't energizing her anymore, she felt empty and numb inside. Chat Noir was mad at her, Adrien was upset with her, and her parents were getting worried. 

Did everyone hate her?

No, surely they didn't. They were just worried for her. Unless they hated her for making her worry. So maybe they _did_ hate her and were just pretending—

“Marinette, you're spiraling,” said Tikki, hovering right in front of her. “Breathe.”

Marinette took a shaky breath, and then another. “I'm sorry, Tikki.”

“It's okay, Marinette. Just breathe.”

Marinette sniffled and wiped at her eyes before shakily standing up. She was just so _tired_. She wanted to go home, to lie on her bed and sleep or just do nothing. Tikki flew into Marinette's purse and she fed her a strawberry macaron before closing the bag and started walking.

“Marinette!”

She turned around to see Alya sprinting toward and flinging her arms around her, nearly tackling Marinette to the ground. “You're okay!”

Marinette hugged her best friend, so relieved to see her okay that she forgot to feel self-conscious about hugging her until after they broke apart. “I'm glad you are too.”

Alya pulled back, taking in Marinette's appearance before her smile faded. “Girl, are you okay? You're shaking.”

Marinette felt like she was going to faint any second, but she smiled. “Sorry, I just had a close call with Depresso. I almost got splashed and it spooked me a little.”

“That sounds _insanely_ scary!” Alya exclaimed. “I'm glad you're okay, but here, let me walk you home.” She slung her arm around Marinette, who quickly covered her grimace with another smile. Together they walked back to the _Boulangerie Patisserie,_ Alya joking about how she was turned off of coffee for a while and Marinette doing everything in her power to avoid breaking down in front of her best friend. After far too long, they arrived at Marinette’s place.

She turned to Alya. “Do you want to come inside? Grab a pastry?”

Alya shook her head. “I need to get back to my family.” She gave Marinette a pointed look. “Go rest. I mean it.”

Marinette chuckled and gave Alya a weak salute. “ _Oui, Madame,_ ” she joked. “I'll see you in school tomorrow.”

Alya grinned, rolling her eyes before she turned around and left.

Marinette opened the store to find...nobody. Were her parents okay? She glanced around before noticing a piece of paper taped to the countertop.

_Marinette-  
Went to go deliver macarons once the akuma was taken care of. Call us as soon as you get home. _

_♡,  
Maman & Papa_

Marinette sighed in relief before pulling out her phone and calling her mom.

“Marinette! Are you home?” asked Mme. Cheng before she heard a scuffling sound.

“Marinette, honey, you’re okay! You’re at home, right? Did you see the akuma? Are you safe?” said M. Dupain. 

Marinette smiled to herself and made a mental note to give her parents hugs when they returned. “I’m okay, Maman and Papa. I’m at home. I saw Ladybug and Chat Noir, but I wasn’t in danger, I promise.”

“Good,” said her mother. “Now relax until we get home, okay? Take care, honey.”

“We love you!” said her father.

“I love you both,” she replied before hanging up.

It was strange being home alone, without her parents bustling around in the kitchen, and it made her feel worse. She pulled out her phone, wondering what everyone had to say about this last akuma fight.

“Are Ladybug and Chat Noir in a fight? Is Ladybug too sick to defend Paris? Moments after defeating akuma victim and owner of a local coffee shop Alexandre Cadieux, the two famous superheroes appeared to get in an argument about there being too many close calls in this latest battle, with Chat Noir implying that Ladybug was getting sick and ill-equipped to defend Paris. As I’m sure many of you know, people have expressed concerns over Ladybug’s apparent weight loss, and—”

Marinette turned off her phone and slumped onto the sofa. Of _course_ people were commenting on Ladybug being too skinny. Of _course_ the same people that called her too fat were now saying she looked too thin. What the hell was she supposed to do? She buried her head into her hands. Adrien, Chat Noir, the media, they all hated her, didn’t they? 

As she wiped her tears, Marinette found herself instinctively walking towards the kitchen, to the pantry. Her parents prided themselves on only selling the best pastries of each batch, so that meant they ended up with the occasional rejects, ones that still tasted incredible but were perhaps slightly overcooked or lopsided. She opened the pantry door and stared at the massive amount of food: the croissants, pain au chocolat, madeleines, macarons, even some cakes. And she knew in the fridge there were éclairs, little petit-fours, and so much more. It was beautiful, and before she knew it, her body was reacting too quickly for her mind to stop.

When Marinette’s parents returned home and found her dozing on the couch, everything seemed to be in order. Mme. Cheng could’ve sworn there was more food in the pantry this morning, but she figured she remembered wrong and made a mental note to buy more ingredients for next week. M. Dupain stroked his daughter’s hair for a bit before the two of them went to the back to do some paperwork and handle the more boring, business-related side of things.

When Marinette awoke, she was in pain. Her stomach ached, swollen from everything she ate. She tried to remember, but the details were lost in the haze of reaching for food and shoving it into her mouth. She felt disgusting, and though she had the urge to empty herself of all of that weight, she was too exhausted to move from the couch.

“Oh well,” she murmured to herself, biting back a rueful laugh. “Maybe this will finally make the media happy.” Marinette laid there, trying to sleep off the stomachache until she felt herself being gently shaken awake.

“Marinette? Wake up, honey.” Was that her mother? Marinette blearily opened her eyes and saw her smiling mother. “It's dinnertime. I made soup, using one of my uncle's recipes. Come, join us.”

Marinette wanted to protest, to say that her stomach hurt and that she wanted to go rest, but a larger, primal part of her brain overwhelmed her. She wanted more food. She _needed_ more food. It didn't matter that she felt like her stomach was splitting open.

“It sounds delicious, Maman,” she said, standing up and following her to the dining table. 

It was nice actually eating dinner with her parents instead of pushing food around her plate and trying to come up with an excuse for why she wasn’t hungry. Her parents beamed when she asked for a second serving of soup and she hoped they weren't able to hear the hateful voice in her head telling her to eat more and more, that she was fat already and that she should just get bigger and bigger and shove more food into her face.

But she said nothing. Outwardly she smiled and thanked her parents for the food, talking to them about her day at school and the akuma. But her stomach ached and her mind refused to turn off. 

Her father brought out the leftover petit-fours for dessert. Marinette knew she couldn't bear to eat anymore. She had three.

Eventually she excused herself, telling her parents that she had homework so she could run away from horrible sugary temptations downstairs.

Marinette felt so sick, so awful. She took a shower and the sight of her distended stomach made her cry. But she felt too sick to purge, too miserable to exercise, so she did nothing. When she climbed into her biggest pajamas, Tikki gave her a kiss on the forehead that made her smile a little.

Marinette sighed, trying to put a positive spin on things. “Maybe all the extra food will help me focus on these math problems.”

She sat down and pulled out her notebooks, daunted by the overwhelming pile of late, upcoming, and extra credit homework. It was annoying that her most time-consuming extracurricular was the one that she wasn't able to take credit for. Nevertheless, she picked up her pencil and got to work. 

Seventy-five minutes later, Marinette beamed with pride at the organized stack of math assignments. And then sighed as she remembered her French, English, and science homework still untouched. 

“How am I ever going to get this done, Tikki?” she groaned, rubbing her temples. 

“Well, if I've learned anything from watching other Ladybugs doing their math homework over the past thousand years or so, then you're already a quarter of the way through! That's 33 percent!”

Marinette chuckled. “Actually it's 25 percent, but you're right, Tikki.” She stared distastefully at the pile of work and tried to ignore her lingering guilt and stomachache.

“You should take a break. You've been working for over an hour.”

“Yeah, you're right,” Marinette conceded. “I think I'll go out to my balcony and look at the stars.” She turned back to her kwami. “It's better for you to stay inside, so you're not seen, but you can read any of my books. Maybe you'll find classic French literature interesting.”

“Have fun, Marinette!”

Marinette opened the door and slipped outside. The night air was breezy and cool, and Marinette closed her eyes as she took in the sensations. Doing her homework was a welcome respite from everything her mind and the people around her were telling her, but none of it miraculously disappeared. Now that she was standing alone, all the thoughts came rushing back.

She felt considerably better physically now that some time had passed since she had last eaten, but the guilt gnawed at her. She ruined everything, all her progress. It was exhausting, trying to address her problems and be a better superhero but it was _just so much._ Marinette didn't know what to do anymore.

Marinette leaned against the railing, her eyes welling up. Sooner or later she'd have to return to reality, to the stress of school and Ladybug and everything else. But at least now it was her and the stars, and she could cry and let go until she had to leave her little bubble of quiet. A few tears fell, but she did not wipe them away.

“Marinette? Are you okay?”

She froze. That voice…it sounded like Adrien’s.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! i hope everyone is having a MIRACULOUS day and start to their week! this chapter turned out a bit fluffy, but you know what, it's a nice break from all the angst! enjoy, be safe, and let me know what you think!!
> 
> \- shazi <3

Marinette glanced up, half expecting that she was hallucinating Adrien's voice, only to find Chat Noir perched on the railing. She never realized how similar Chat and Adrien sounded. Briefly she wondered if Adrien was Chat Noir, but she brushed off the thought. _Adrien_ as Chat Noir? The chances of _that_ being true almost made her laugh.

Marinette wiped at her eyes and smiled. “Hey, Chat Noir. What's up? Is everything okay?”

“I like to go out at night when I'm stressed. It's calming, you know?” he said, swinging his legs as he sat on the railing. “It seems like you had a rough day too.”

Marinette let out a rueful laugh. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. Is that why you came?”

Chat nodded. “I like talking to you.”

Marinette smiled at that. “I like talking to you too. But why are you here?” Suddenly her face fell. “Is it Ladybug? Is she the reason why you're out here?”

Chat grew solemn. “Yeah, she is. I'm really worried about her but I'm afraid she's upset at me.”

Marinette felt a cold knife stab her heart. “Why would she be upset with you?” she asked, trying to keep her voice level.

“One of the things I love about Ladybug is that she's so strong,” he said, a dreamy look on his face. “She's smart and decisive and focused, but that means she's also stubborn and doesn't like to ask for help. She's one of my best friends and I know when something’s wrong with her, but I don't know how to help.”

 _Damn._ Marinette didn't know what to say, so after a few false starts she settled on, “That must be hard.”

“Yeah, it is,” he agreed. “And I'm worried it's getting to the point where she can't function as well as she normally does. After we defeated this latest akuma, we—”

“Yeah, I know,” Marinette interjected. She didn't particularly want to relive their argument. “I saw you two fight on the news.”

Chat Noir turned to her. “It was on the news?” Though she couldn't see all of his face Marinette swore she saw him pale. “No, no, that's not good. Gah, I'm so _stupid,_ I should've talked to her privately, after we both had the chance to calm down.”

Marinette awkwardly patted Chat on the shoulder. “You care about her. Your intentions were good and it's not your fault the media likes to hate on Ladybug.” She forced herself to ignore the repetitive cycle of _what if they have a point what if they’re right_ and met Chat’s gaze.

“It's awful! No newscaster has _ever_ talked about me or my looks, but they targeted Ladybug to the point that she’s hurting herself even more now. She was always beautiful, but now she's in danger too.”

Something inside Marinette melted. She didn't realize how deep her friendship with Chat Noir ran, but here he was worrying about her, saying she was beautiful. “Ladybug is lucky to have you as her friend and partner,” she said. “I can imagine how tough it is to be a superhero, for—for both of you.”

Chat Noir deflated. “It’s tough,” he admitted. “But it’s worse when the people you’re defending lash out at you for no good reason. Ladybug has done nothing wrong.”

“Hah, tell me about it. People are so obsessed with the superficial that they forget what truly matters. You won’t know this, but I’m really interested in design, and I’ve worked closely with people in the fashion world. I’ve seen firsthand how toxic people can be, so it’s no wonder that Ladybug is dealing with that.”

“Of course I know that you’re a designer! You made that incredible cover art for Jagged Stone’s latest album!”

Marinette smiled at the compliment, her face growing warm. She realized that, when they weren’t in the middle of a battle, she genuinely loved spending time with Chat Noir. Sure, he was a flirt who enjoyed silly puns and dad jokes a bit too much, but he was still Chat. She made a mental note to be nicer to him as Ladybug.

“You alright?” he asked, interrupting Marinette’s thoughts.

She nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I got lost in my thoughts for a moment there.”

“I haven’t even asked you how you’re doing yet. I mean, I don’t want to pry but I did see you crying earlier.”

Marinette sighed. “It’s just stressful. I feel like I have a thousand things to do every day. Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly putting up a front, like I can’t be who I truly am. And my friends are probably upset with me. I’ve gotten into arguments with two people I care about a lot, and while I know they love me, I can’t shake the feeling that they think I’m a burden.” It felt a little strange talking about her fight with Chat _with_ Chat, but she hadn’t talked about him or Adrien with anyone else. 

Chat Noir’s face fell. “I’m really sorry to hear that. But hey, for what it’s worth, I don’t think your friends think you’re a burden.”

Marinette looked away. “I appreciate the thought, but how would you know?”

“Well, you’re you,” he said. “You’re smart and kind and your friends all seem like genuinely nice people. I’m sure that they love you, that they care about you and want you to get help for whatever you’re dealing with.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” she admitted, fighting back the urge to cry. “It’s just—It’s just hard to change sometimes. I don’t really want to get into the details, but I did something today that I’m not very proud of, and I’m feeling guilty about it.”

Chat turned to her. “Marinette, can I show you something?”

She nodded. “Sure, what is it?”

Chat Noir extended his staff and offered his hand. Marinette accepted, wrapping her arms around him. She flinched when Chat wrapped his arm around her waist, but when he gave her a concerned look, she smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't ask her anything. He adjusted his grip around her and together they leaped off of Marinette’s balcony. 

It took Marinette a few minutes to convince herself that she wasn't going to fall. She trusted Chat, but even with his magical strength she worried that he wouldn't be able to carry her, that she was too heavy, especially from her recent binge. But his strong grip never wavered and she soon closed her eyes and began to relax in his arms. The cool night air felt like a breath of fresh air, and for a moment Marinette could let go of all the thoughts racing through her head. 

She felt Chat Noir land on something solid, and opened her eyes as he crouched down to let her stand. It was _their_ rooftop. The one with the gorgeous view of the city, where they would watch the sunset together sometimes. At night, the lights from the houses and streetlights glittered beneath her like a blanket of diamonds to match the ones in the sky.

No wonder Chat Noir liked coming here.

“What do you think?” he asked, pulling Marinette out of her thoughts. “Do you like it here?”

“It's beautiful, Chat Noir,” she said, her voice hushed. She turned toward him, to meet his gaze. “Thank you for showing me.”

Chat smiled. “It's my pleasure.” He turned to look down at the city. “My civilian life is tough sometimes. Dealing with that as well as my superhero life can be hard. But whenever I'm stressed or sad or overwhelmed, I like to come here. I sit down and look at all the streets and the people in their homes and take some deep breaths, and I feel better.” He turned back to Marinette. “Try looking out at everything.”

Marinette nodded. She saw a few people walking, saw lights inside houses and imagined families eating together. There must be people studying or kids reading or playing with each other. A cool breeze wrapped around her, and she sighed. 

“You're right. It _is_ nice out here.” Marinette chuckled. “It's not like I could make it here on my own though.”

Chat Noir laughed sheepishly. “You're right, I forgot that little detail. But hey, I can show you something that you could do wherever you'd like, if you want.”

Marinette nodded and Chat walked toward her, coming behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders. “Is this okay?” he asked. 

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Close your eyes.” After Marinette closed them, Chat said, “Focus on everything. Take a deep breath and really pay attention to it. Feel the air around you and listen. You can hear me, the breeze rustling, even some of the animals that come out at night.”

Marinette took a deep breath. Then another. She felt herself relax, felt her normally tense shoulders soften. 

“How do you feel now?” he asked, letting go of her. 

Marinette opened her eyes. “Wow,” she murmured, turning around. “How do you know how to do that?”

Chat smiled, but his eyes welled up. He cleared his throat before saying, “My mom taught me. When I was younger, she would do this with me. She's no longer here, but doing this reminds me of her.”

“She sounds like a beautiful person,” Marinette said. “And thank you, Chat Noir. I honestly feel better.”

“I'm glad,” he said, meeting her gaze. Marinette could feel her face growing warm, and she looked away.

Chat smiled again. “Your friends love you, Marinette. I know how easy it is to forget that, but they do love you. It's okay to ask them for help, and it's okay to need it in the first place. You deserve to feel happy.”

“I know you're right, even if it's hard to believe,” she admitted. She knew Chat was right—her friends did love her and care about her, although she couldn’t understand why _anyone_ could care like that about her. 

“I’m always right!” he said, winking at her. “Just ask Ladybug.”

Marinette laughed and shook her head. If only he knew. “I should probably get back now,” she said, albeit reluctantly. “I have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on.”

Chat offered his hand. “Of course, Marinette.” She took his hand without hesitation and let him carry her all the way back to her balcony, where he gently dropped her off.

“I’ll get going now,” Chat said, turning around once he let go of Marinette.

“Wait,” she said, causing him to stop. “Thank you, Chat Noir. And…I’m sorry about Ladybug. For what it’s worth, I’m sure she cares just as much about you as you do her.”

Chat Noir smiled at that. “Thank you, Marinette. That means a lot.” He extended his staff and climbed onto the railing. “Goodbye.”

“Bye, Chat.” As he left, she headed back into her room, where Tikki was dozing on an open book. The kwami stirred at Marinette’s footsteps and smiled.

“You were gone a while,” she commented. “Who were you talking to? Why do you look so happy?”

Marinette smiled. “I was talking to Chat Noir.”

“Ooh, Chat Noir! Maybe you like him a little more than you thought, Marinette.”

“He’s just a friend, Tikki!” she insisted, although she started blushing.

Tikki grinned. “You don’t sound so sure about that. But you look much happier, so I won’t tease you too much.”

“I do feel better, Tikki,” she agreed. “And I suppose I have Chat to thank for that.”

Marinette sat down and chipped away at the mountain of schoolwork, trying not to think too deeply about her talk with Chat Noir. It was a problem for another day, she decided. Everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooooo marinette talked about her arguments with both adrien and adrien WITH adrien without knowing! hahaha the love square is a wild thing :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everybody!! how are you all doing today? i can't believe we're already at nine chapters and well overr 10,000 words! some of you might know that i'm new to writing fanfiction, let alone something longer than a couple thousand words! i really appreciate everyone reading this little story i wanted to tell and i appreciate all of you :) enjoy this chapter and as always, let me know what you think in the comments!!
> 
> -shazi <3

Despite still feeling bloated the next morning, Marinette felt okay. Alya, Chat, Tikki, and even Adrien all cared about her. Chat’s gentle reminder ringing in her ears, she climbed out of bed and slipped into her usual outfit.

“Good morning, Marinette!” Tikki chirped. “You look like you’re in a good mood today.”

Marinette smiled. “I’m feeling better, Tikki.” Not perfect, but good enough to handle the day. Maybe soon she’d find it in her to ignore Ladybug’s bullies. It’s not like they were any happier with her when she lost the weight, anyways. Maybe Chat was right—perhaps it just wasn’t worth stressing about what the media thought of her. After all, they were all the ones who relied on her to keep the city safe.

“I’m glad you’re feeling good, Marinette. It’s nice to see.” Tikki was smiling, floating easily around the room, and it made Marinette happy to see her friend happy.

“Thank you, Tikki. I’m just surprised.” If she was being honest, Marinette didn’t trust her good mood. Where did it come from, after spending so long in that awful darkness? A darker corner of her mind wondered if she was forgetting something, if she even deserved to be happy. 

“Well, maybe part of it is that you ate yesterday,” Tikki pointed out. “You told me last night that you were feeling more clear-headed. Your body must be thankful that you’ve given it enough food to fuel you.”

“Huh. You might have a point,” Marinette conceded. She _did_ like the feeling of waking up to a sun-filled room and an empty mind, rather than hating herself from the moment her eyes fluttered open. Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad idea to try to eat a little more.

Oh, what was she saying? Marinette remembered all too well the guilt from last night, the crushing shame every time she’d eat even ten calories over her limit, the late nights exercising or purging away the excess. She’d come so far, why on earth would she _voluntarily_ eat more?

And yet…she felt good waking up. She felt steady as she packed her things and prepared for her day, any hint of the familiar lightheadedness gone. She’d fight better as Ladybug, maybe dissuade the people who thought she was too weak. If she was careful, she wouldn’t even gain weight. Marinette took a deep breath. The familiar scent of the bakery filled her lungs, warm and comforting with a touch of sweetness. Her parents were baking something, likely croissants. Her mouth watered.

“What are you thinking, Marinette?” asked Tikki, interrupting her thoughts.

“It smells like my parents are baking croissants,” she said, making her way to the trapdoor. “I might have one before school.”

Tikki beamed and flew over to her. “Really? I’m so proud!” she cried, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Marinette cradled the little kwami close to her. “It’s a little scary, but I want to hold onto this good day, and I think eating breakfast with my family is a good place to start.” 

She climbed down the stairs, finding her mother arranging pastries on a platter while her father pulled out a batch of freshly baked croissants.

“Good morning, darling!” said M. Dupain when he saw Marinette. “Would you like breakfast?” 

Marinette smiled. “Those croissants smell amazing, Papa. I'd love one.”

Her parents beamed at her, and though they didn't comment, she could tell they were surprised and pleased. M. Dupain grabbed a croissant and blew on it in a valiant attempt to cool it down before he handed it to his daughter. Marinette grabbed it, startled by the warmth, and fanned the pastry before taking a tiny bite.

Wow. The delicate flakes of pastry practically melted on her tongue, the taste of home filling her mouth as she swallowed her first bite. There had to be a ton of calories, but as Marinette took a second bite, she did her best to push the numbers out of her mind. This was a freshly baked croissant, one of many that she’s had over the years. It wouldn’t kill her.

“How is it, dear?” asked Mme. Cheng. 

Marinette wiped the crumbs off her mouth. “It’s _amazing._ ” And it was. It brought back so many memories of working with her parents, of baking alongside them or talking to customers. Maybe it wasn’t the best croissant, but it was the first one she’d had in a while and it made her realize how much she missed them.

Her mother grabbed a croissant and took a bite herself. “It’s pretty good,” she commented. “I think the butter we used was a little old, Tom, but it should be fine for the _pain au chocolat._ ”

Before her parents could get started talking about their pastries, Marinette interrupted. “I should get going. Goodbye Maman, Papa. Have a good day!”

“Goodbye, honey!” they said, waving at her. “Take care!”

Marinette left home and took another bite of the croissant. Even though she was only half-finished, she was starting to get full. Or maybe it was the lingering guilt she tried to dispel. As she walked to school, she convinced herself to take a few more bites, leaving a quarter of the croissant. 

“Tikki, would you like the rest of this?” she offered to the kwami.

“Are you sure, Marinette?” she asked hesitantly. “You should eat.”

Marinette smiled. “I’ve eaten most of it, which is pretty good so far. Here, you finish,” she said, slipping the rest into her purse. 

“Yum! Thank you, Marinette,” she said, nibbling at the leftover croissant as they arrived at school.

The morning went by smoothly. Even though Mme. Mendeleiev's lecture was dull, Marinette found that she was able to concentrate far more easily today, and when she and Alya walked out of class, Marinette felt more confident than she had for a long while.

“Man, Mendeleiev's lectures are intense!” said Alya as soon as she was convinced their teacher was out of earshot. “I can't stand math.”

Marinette laughed. “Honestly, I don't blame you. I was close to falling asleep in there!”

The two friends shared a laugh before Alya pointed out, “You look like you're in a good mood today, Marinette. Anything special going on?”

Marinette shrugged. “I woke up on the right side of the bed today, I guess. I’m glad though—I’ve been pretty stressed lately, so I'll take all the good days I can get.”

Alya grinned, gently elbowing her friend. “It's nice to see you smiling. Cut yourself some slack, girl, you're working way too hard!”

“I know, I know, but I have too much to do!”

They kept chatting as they made their way to the cafeteria. Marinette’s heart beat faster as she entered the cafeteria. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe she shouldn't be eating, maybe she could purge.

She closed her eyes. Took a deep breath in, then out. Chat was right. She was okay.

Marinette got the same thing Alya did: grilled chicken and salad, with some baguette and cheese on the side. It was a daunting amount of food, but if Alya and Nino and Adrien could all eat normally, then so could she. Besides, she didn't have to clean her plate. The girls sat down with their friends at the table.

“Dude, I barely made it through Mendeleiev’s lecture today,” said Nino as soon as Alya and Marinette sat down. “I don't even think I learned anything!”

Alya chuckled. “Me too! I was just talking to Marinette about it, and I don't know how I survived.” She took a bite of her salad, and Marinette followed suit, carefully spearing some greens. The salad dressing was tangy with a subtle sweet aftertaste, and Marinette could practically feel her stomach begging for more. She took another careful bite, hoping she didn't seem too greedy.

Adrien laughed sheepishly. “I think I actually fell asleep for a moment,” he admitted. “I was tired and it was so boring!”

“You okay dude?” asked Nino. “Was it the akuma?”

Adrien nodded. “I got caught up in it. I even ran into Chat Noir at one point, but I just ended up hiding until he and Ladybug took care of things.”

“Me too!” said Marinette. “I bumped into Ladybug and ended up having to hide in an alley until Alya found me. Can you believe that akuma? It was as ridiculous as Monsieur Pigeon.”

The group laughed. “I take it you're not a coffee person,” Adrien teased.

Marinette grinned and hoped he didn't notice her blush. “Haha, I, uh, I'm not, actually. Tea is better.” She did her best to send a telepathic message to Alya, asking her to bail her out before she melted into a puddle of embarrassment, and thankfully her friend seemed to sense it.

“Girl, I will never understand you,” she chimed in. “Coffee all the way, even after Depresso!”

That sparked a friendly debate. Alya and Nino were coffee lovers, Marinette preferred tea, and in classic Adrien fashion, he claimed he didn't have a preference and that both were wonderful. In that time, Marinette was able to finish her salad, most of the chicken, and even took a bite of the baguette, although she couldn't bring herself to eat any more, the lingering guilt on her tastebuds.

As the lunch period neared its end, the urge to excuse herself to go to the restroom grew stronger. But Marinette resisted, and when she walked back to class with her friends, she caught Adrien looking at her. He had a soft smile on his lips and a proud gleam in his eyes that made her blush. Neither of them said anything, but Marinette knew he noticed, and it took all her self-control to avoid smiling too much on her way back to the classroom.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, i can't believe we're already at chapter 10!! this is the longest story i've ever written, and i'm honestly stunned that i've been able to keep this up and meet so many lovely readers! thank you all so much for coming along for this ride <3
> 
> -shazi :)

For the first time in a long time, Marinette's week was more good than bad. She was eating more than usual, and although she was still meticulously tracking and weighing herself to make sure she didn't gain too much weight, she couldn't deny that the extra food improved her mood and performance quite a bit. She had grown used to the hazy fog wrapped around her mind, preventing her from focusing or doing anything, really. She had grown to accept that she would never be able to pierce through it and become the person she was before all of this mess. 

But maybe she was wrong.

Bitter guilt still laced each bite of food she ate, but Marinette tried to remember Adrien’s smile, her parents’ proud gazes, Alya’s hugs, Chat Noir’s presence, Tikki’s love. She knew they all cared for her, that they wanted her to eat and be happy. Maybe she didn't deserve their love, but it was there for her. So Marinette tried her best. 

After school, Alya managed to convince her to get coffee and study with her. _Le Beau Café_ was booming ever since the akuma, once people realized just how tasty their coffee was. 

“Besides,” Alya said, “We're both behind on our reading and coffee pairs well with classic French literature.”

Marinette giggled. “You have a point, but I don't like coffee, Alya.”

Alya laughed. “You're not a true French girl if you don't like coffee, Marinette. But it's okay, there's a pretty wide selection of tea there for a French _café._ ”

“I'll take your word for it,” she said with a grin as they started making their way to the shop.

Marinette could smell the espresso from a block away. Maybe it was from the akuma fight, but Marinette’s nose was attuned to the scent of that piping hot espresso. It made her stomach turn. Thankfully, Alya suggested they sit outside, to avoid distracting the other patrons. 

Marinette was hesitant to order at first- the menu didn't include any of the calories and she was still tracking her food, even if she was eating more than usual. But seeing Alya order coffee with cream and _pain au chocolat_ with no hesitation and feeling both hers and the barista’s eyes on her made Marinette’s pulse spike. She tried to swallow down the creeping anxiety in her throat and settled on the very non-French combination of chai with milk and an apple scone. Scones were generally less sweet than other pastries, she reasoned, so if she avoided the typical butter and jam toppings, it was probably not as much as she feared.

After they placed their orders, they sat back down and started discussing _L’Etranger_ to prepare for their upcoming essay. Marinette tried to focus, but analyzing Mersault’s nihilism did little to calm the roiling anxiety in Marinette’s chest. She took a deep breath in. Then out.

A few minutes into their discussion, a man emerged from inside the coffee shop, bearing their drinks and snacks. He was tall and slender, with curly brown hair and glasses. Marinette recognized him as M. Cadieux.

“I have a coffee with cream, an apple scone, a _pain au chocolat_ , and a chai. Will that be all for you today?”

Marinette smiled. “Thank you so much, sir. I think this is everything for now.”

M. Cadieux smiled and nodded before his face knitted into a thoughtful frown. “Pardon, but have we met? You seem familiar.”

Marinette hesitated, racking her brain. “I don't think so?”

The shopkeeper stared at her for a long moment before his face lit up. “You remind me of Ladybug! Has anyone ever told you you look like her? And you even sound a bit like her too, now that I think about it.”

“Uhhhh, thank you for the compliment!” she blurted out, hoping she didn't sound panicked. “I couldn't be Ladybug though—I'm nowhere near as talented as her.”

M. Cadieux smiled. “My apologies, young lady. Although to be fair, you probably do not want to be Ladybug right now.”

Alya frowned. “Why, what’s going on?”

“Have you two not seen the news today?” he asked, looking confused. “There are people saying she is no longer fit to protect Paris, going on the news to say so.”

In that moment, Marinette desperately wanted to crumple herself into a ball. She didn’t trust herself to speak, but thankfully Alya did.

“That’s been happening to her for quite a while, _monsieur._ Has something changed?” she asked.

M. Cadieux nodded. “I think the mayor’s daughter is petitioning to remove Ladybug and replace her with someone else, possibly her. And I think she is gathering a following of people that agree with her.”

Alya seemed like she was holding back a laugh, and Marinette wanted to believe her. After all, _Chloé_ as her replacement? The idea was laughable, and yet Marinette could feel the fear creeping up on her. 

“Ladybug would be difficult to replace,” she said, fighting to keep her voice steady. “Hopefully this will all get resolved soon.”

M. Cadieux gave her a look that made her shiver, like it was exposing her. “I certainly hope you're right, young lady. Now you two enjoy.” And as he walked away from the table, Marinette couldn't squash the feeling that he knew more than he let on.

She turned to Alya. “You don't think he's right, do you? About Ladybug?”

Alya laughed. “If he's right, it's Chloé he's talking about. Nobody thinks that she could be a better Ladybug. It's obvious that she just wants revenge, anyways.” 

Marinette figured her friend was right and tried her best to pay attention to Alya, to discuss the reading, but the time couldn't have been passing more slowly. She hardly tasted her tea or scone, and though the threat of that essay was imminent, it wasn't enough to take her mind off of Chloé. Eventually the two of them gave up and wished each other luck for the exam, parting ways. Marinette almost sprinted home so she could check the news.

She made it upstairs and turned on her computer. Tikki flew out of her purse, and Marinette fed her the leftover bits of her scone as she turned on her computer. 

“Are you okay, Marinette?” she asked.

“I just have to see if the shopkeeper was right. What's going on with Chloé?” She found a video of Nadja Chamack.

“Don't be bemused, it's just the news! This just in: Chloé Bourgeois, daughter of Mayor Andre Bourgeois, claiming that Ladybug is unfit to save Paris. She appears to have gathered quite the following with the support of her classmate Lila Rossi. Here she is making a speech outside the mayor's building, where there appears to be quite the crowd.”

Marinette's jaw dropped. Was Chloé _serious?_ The camera zoomed in on Chloé and she heard her classmate say, “It's utterly ridiculous! Ladybug can't even take care of her figure—how can we expect her to take care of a whole city? If I was your Ladybug, I would spend much more time making sure I'm actually fit enough to protect Paris. You all saw her fumble with her Lucky Charm! You all saw her nearly let an akuma destroy Paris! And you all saw Chat Noir fighting with her! Obviously there's something wrong with her, and I don't want _that_ protecting my fellow Parisians.”

“No, no, no,” Marinette murmured, her heart jumping into her throat. Tikki protectively flew next to her.

“Listen to me! Down with Ladybug! Down with Ladybug!” The crowd cheered and whistled before chanting “Down with Ladybug! Down with Ladybug!”

Marinette's hands started shaking and she knew what was coming. There were so many people there. So many people saying that she shouldn't be a superhero. _So many people._

Marinette's breath hitched and she started breathing faster, her chest tightening. Everyone hated her, hated Ladybug. What was she going to do?

Everything seemed to get too bright, every sound too loud. She closed her eyes and pressed her palms into her ears. The world was crashing down on her and she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't do anything.

Marinette found herself sitting on the floor, a worried Tikki hovering next to her. Her face was flushed and warm to the touch, and her whole body was trembling.

“Wh-What…what happened?” Words came slowly to Marinette's mouth, like her brain had dissolved. 

“It looked like a panic attack,” said a worried Tikki. “Marinette, are you okay?”

Marinette shook her head. “Maybe…maybe trying to be normal again…it was a bad idea, Tikki.”

“Marinette, please don't start that again. You've been doing so well.”

She sighed. “I don't…I don't know what else to do.” It was easy, so dangerously easy to slip into old habits. And besides, the only thing that could fix this was proving that Ladybug was perfect, was good enough. Inside her mind she could hear all the critics shaming Ladybug for her body, But right now she was so _tired_ , so exhausted from trying hard to be what everyone wanted her to be that she simply crawled into bed and cried.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everybody!! i hope you're doing well today :) this chapter was fun to write! it's exciting to see how this story is shaping up! i hope you enjoy, and as always feel free to let me know what you think! i love talking to you all :)
> 
> -shazi <3

Marinette woke up to the sound of knocking. She hadn't realized she drifted off, but the sharp rapping against the trapdoor was enough to rouse her. She made her way to the door and opened it to see her smiling father’s head.

“Hi, honey,” he said, poking his head in. “Are you okay?”

Marinette wondered if her eyes were bloodshot before realizing that they probably noticed something was wrong. “Yeah, I'm okay,” she said. “I've just been really stressed lately.” She figured that wasn't a _complete_ lie. 

M. Dupain climbed up, balancing a _croque monsieur_ on a plate. The sandwich was still warm, and Marinette figured it was meant for her. 

“You've been stressed a lot lately,” M. Dupain pointed out. “Is there anything your mother and I can do to help?”

“Tom, move out of the way so I can climb up!” 

Marinette and her father froze for a second before laughing. M. Dupain climbed out of the way so that Mme. Cheng could pop in. She grinned at her husband before kissing Marinette on the cheek.

Marinette smiled, though inside her stomach churned at the thought that she was worrying them. “Thank you Papa, Maman. You're two of the best parents ever, but it's just me.”

“We could always help you find a therapist,” Mme. Cheng pointed out. “All of this stress has clearly been getting to you.”

Marinette sighed. Maybe she _did_ need a therapist, but it wasn't like she'd be able to tell them about the biggest source of her stress. How helpful could it be if she was the only person who could know she was Ladybug?

“I think I need to get through these next few assignments first,” she lied. “Maybe later, if I still need a therapist.” 

Her parents exchanged a glance before M. Dupain handed her the plate. “Here,” he said. “I know _croque monsieurs_ always pick you up when you're feeling down. I made one for you.”

Marinette fought the urge to cry, blinking furiously. “Thank you, Papa. You too, Maman. I love you.”

M. Dupain’s eyes welled up. “Ooh give me a hug, both of you!” He pulled both women toward him into one of his classic, crushing hugs. Marinette wrapped her arms around her dad, the warm scent of freshly baked bread surrounding her, reminding her of how disappointing she was. She was a horrible daughter. But she buried her face in her father’s shirt to fight her tears.

Too soon and yet not soon enough, they all broke apart. Marinette’s parents started climbing downstairs, although M. Dupain gave his daughter a pointed look and told her to eat the sandwich he made for her. Marinette made herself smile and say that she would, the promise tasting like stale bread in her throat. She heard her parents climb down and she stared at the _croque monsieur_ balanced on the plate. It _did_ look good. 

“You should eat it, Marinette,” Tikki encouraged. “Don't let someone like Chloé hurt you like that.”

“I know you're right, Tikki, it's just…what if she's also right?” Marinette took a bite out of the sandwich, and the familiar taste of cheese melted over ham and freshly baked bread was comforting. But it didn't turn off the calculator in her head worrying about calories and Chloé and Paris. She took another bite, and her stomach turned. She couldn't do this.

Marinette headed to her balcony, tearing the remainder of the sandwich to bits and tossing the chunks off her balcony. Immediately a flock of pigeons descended on her scraps, squawking and clawing at each other as they pecked at the pitiful offering, erasing any hint of Marinette’s actions. She slumped back into bed, closing her eyes and trying to ignore the sound of the birds squabbling over the remainder of her father’s surprise for her.

The bright blue sky started retreating, chased by the beginning of a warm orange sunset. Maybe she should go outside, get some fresh air. 

“At least I ate a bit,” she reassured herself. “It didn't completely go to waste.” But the conflicting guilt still gnawed at her as she said, “Tikki, spots on!”

A few moments later she was on the rooftop of the _Boulangerie Patisserie_ , hopping from rooftop to rooftop as she chased the sun and ran from everything. Ladybug wondered if Chat Noir would be disappointed in her, how Adrien would feel if he knew what she had done. Her conflicted guilt refused to go anywhere. 

She made it to their rooftop and sat down, letting her legs dangle over the edge. The sunset was gorgeous and she could still feel the last remaining rays of sunlight on her face. She felt like a broken piece of an otherwise beautiful day.

“Ladybug? What are you doing here?”

Ladybug blanched and turned around to see Chat Noir standing there. 

She stood up. “Chat Noir? What are you doing here?”

“I asked the same thing to you, Bugaboo,” he commented, walking toward her. Chat tilted his head. “Is everything okay?”

“I…” She faltered, her eyes watering. “I don't really know.”

Chat Noir's face fell. “Well, I'm here. You can tell me anything, Milady. What's going on?”

They both sat down on the edge of the roof. Ladybug could feel her hands shaking, and she balled them into fists and pressed them into her lap. “It's stupid,” she said.

“Whatever it is, it's clearly not stupid if it's bothering you like this,” Chat pointed out. “I'm not here to judge you, I promise.”

“Thank you, _chaton. _” Ladybug forced herself to meet his gaze. “It’s just…this is silly, but there’s this girl. Her name is Chloé Bourgeois and she’s the mayor’s daughter. I saw news footage of her gathered with a lot of other people, and they were all calling for her to replace me.”__

__“Yeah, I saw that too.” Chat Noir scoffed. “It’s terrible. I remember Chloé as Queen Bee—honestly I don’t think she’d even be able to replace you as Ladybug.”_ _

__“I know you’re right, Chat Noir, but it’s hard to believe.” Her voice broke. “There were _so many_ people there that _hated_ me. It makes me wonder how many other people hate me too.” _ _

__The first tear fell, and then another. Ladybug wiped at her eyes, looking away from Chat. His face fell and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into a hug. Ladybug leaned into his warm embrace._ _

__“I’m sorry, Ladybug,” he whispered as he held her._ _

__It was enough to make the tears start pouring. Ladybug buried her face into Chat’s chest. “I’m sorry,” she said weakly. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”_ _

__“You’ve gone through a lot, it’s understandable. But I’ll be here.”_ _

__Through her tears, Ladybug smiled. “I don’t deserve you, Chat Noir.”_ _

__“That’s not true,” he said with a smile. “I’m lucky to have you too.” He hesitated before adding, “And I wanted to say sorry.”_ _

__Ladybug was startled out of her sadness for a moment. “Why?”_ _

__“For getting upset with you after the last akuma. I wasn't thinking clearly and I should have talked to you in private, not in front of everyone. I was just worried about you.”_ _

__“I forgive you,” she said, and she meant it. “And I'm sorry for making you worry.” Maybe he _would_ be better off with another partner, one that didn't cause him to worry like this. _ _

__“Is there anything I can do?” he asked, pulling back to meet her eyes. “I know I can't do much, but I love you, Ladybug. I care about you. You're not alone.”_ _

__“I care about you too, _chaton_. I don't know what you could do, though. I'll never be able to make anyone happy, no matter what I do.”_ _

__“You make me happy,” he insisted. “It doesn't matter what the public thinks. The people who love you care about you for a reason.”_ _

__“I suppose you're right, but it's so hard to ignore them. I just feel stuck, like I can't do anything without doing something people despise.”_ _

__“Tell me about it,” Chat murmured under his breath. “People will forget. They always do. You need to focus on taking care of yourself, Milady.”_ _

__Suddenly, a breeze flew past them, jolting the superheroes back to reality. The sun had long since set, and more and more stars blinked into the darkening sky._ _

__“We should start heading back,” said a reluctant Chat._ _

__“You're right,” said Ladybug, standing up. “Thank you, Chat Noir. I'm lucky to have you.”_ _

__Chat smiled. “I'm lucky to have you.” The superheroes embraced. “Be careful, okay?”_ _

__Ladybug wasn't sure if she could promise that. “I'll try,” she said._ _

__Chat Noir kissed her hand and hopped away. A pang of longing sliced through her heart, catching her off guard._ _

__“Chat Noir?” she murmured into the night air as she tried to sort through her feelings. “What about Adrien?” It almost made her laugh. On top of the world crashing down on her, she’s started catching feelings for someone whose true name she didn't even know._ _

__It was a problem for another day, she decided. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess anyways—she didn't need another crisis to add to it._ _

__Ladybug threw her yoyo and swung off the rooftop._ _


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi!! i hope you're all having a MIRACULOUS day today! i hope you all enjoy this next chapter of Marinette's journey :) be safe, take care, and let me know what you think!
> 
> \- shazi <3

Marinette could've sworn that Chloé talked for 40 hours a day. Sure, it wasn't technically possible, but that girl would not stop talking, and it drove Marinette crazy.

“Sabrina, what should I say for the broadcast Daddy paid for?”

“I think I look good in red and black, don't you?”

“I wonder if Ladybug feels threatened by me. Hah, maybe she should be.”

The idea of Chloé becoming Ladybug was almost laughable; how could she even get her Miraculous? But Marinette kept touching her earrings and keeping an eye out, wondering how much truth there was behind her statements.

Sometimes a Ladybug supporter would speak up. Alya would ask her why she cared so much, or Adrien would point out that Chloé didn’t have to take up the mantle of Ladybug to become a superhero. But she seemed to have a one-track mind, and nothing anyone could say dissuaded her from targeting Ladybug.

Marinette was not taking it very well. For a while, she tried to reassure herself that Chloé would burn herself out or find a new target to pick on, but as she grew more and more insistent, Marinette grew more and more anxious. She almost forgot the feeling of not being dizzy with worry, and once at home she even fainted, claiming she tripped when her parents came to check on her. The stress of being Ladybug, of managing everything, and now of Chloé threatening it all, ate away at her.

Marinette tried her best to remember those good days. She tried to eat, and sometimes she genuinely wanted to, but her appetite had vanished. Some days Tikki or her family or friends would convince her to eat or help distract her, but the anxiety still lingered along with traces of the cruel thoughts that sent her spiraling in the first place. She kept going, kept trying to keep herself afloat, but she didn’t know how much longer she could take it.

One morning, Marinette woke up to her heart racing. Her chest and head ached, and her breath came too quickly. 

“Remember to breathe, Marinette,” said Tikki. Marinette took a few deep breaths, and after a few minutes she was able to get a hold on herself, though traces of her lightheadedness still remained.

She laughed ruefully. “I’m a mess, aren’t I?” She almost felt sick. Her stomach felt like her yo-yo was being spun into knots and she knew she wouldn’t be able to eat breakfast today.

“You’re going through a lot, Marinette,” Tikki said, trying to reassure her. “Maybe you can talk to someone?”

“I must keep my identity a secret, Tikki.” Marinette sighed and looked out the window, at all the people weaving through the streets. “I don’t have a choice.”

“What about Chat Noir? Or your parents? You know you can trust them.”

“I know I can, it’s just…what if something goes wrong? I know I can trust them but I can’t shake the feeling that something awful will happen if I tell them the truth about my identity.”

“I get it Marinette, it’s scary,” said Tikki. “But you don’t have to tell everyone the whole truth to get yourself help.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Marinette considered, though the idea still scared her. She glanced at her phone. “We should get to school before we’re late.”

Marinette climbed downstairs and gave both her parents a quick kiss on the cheek. She declined their offer of a pastry and started making her way to school. Marinette briefly wondered if she was hungry, but her stomach was too twisted in knots for her to even consider eating. She was probably fine, she reasoned. 

Marinette started climbing the stairs to the front entrance of Françoise Dupont when she felt a fluttering of lightheadedness that caught her off guard. She stopped for a moment to regain her balance and continued up the stairs, but Tikki carefully peeked out of Marinette’s bag.

“What happened, Marinette?” she whispered.

“Just got a bit dizzy,” she murmured, not looking at the kwami. “I’m okay. Hey, Alya!”

Tikki disappeared into her purse as Marinette waved at her friend. She greeted Alya, who waved over Nino and Adrien. The four of them started walking to their first class with Mme. Bustier.

“Are you guys ready for that essay?” asked Adrien as they entered the classroom. “I hope I am!”

Nino and Alya started joking about how they weren’t even close to prepared, but as Marinette took her seat, dark spots started dancing in her vision and she felt that sensation again. The fluttering in her head. 

“Marinette, is everything okay?” asked Adrien. 

It took her a moment to register his question, but Marinette shook off her bizarre lightheadedness and smiled at Adrien. “Yeah, I’m good,” she said with a smile. “Just trying to think about my essay. I’m not prepared!”

That got a chuckle out of Alya, who chimed in with a “Same!”, but Marinette noticed that Adrien’s brows were still knit together. She’d spent long enough staring at him to know that something was still bothering him. But Mme. Bustier entered the classroom and she decided to ignore Adrien for the time being. She had an essay to focus on, and she had a suspicion that she needed all the focus she could muster.

…

Marinette was right. An hour later and she turned in her mediocre-at-best essay on _L’Etranger_. The whole time she could hardly focus. Words whirled around her and her brain wandered at the drop of a hat. As the time kept ticking, Marinette could feel the familiar tightness in her chest, flurries of dizziness spinning her head. They were getting worse, she realized, causing her anxiety to spike.

In the breaks between dizzy spells, Marinette found herself frantically scribbling down whatever she could think of, leafing through her copy of the book to find at least some quotes that worked for whatever point she was trying to make. When Mme. Bustier called out “Time’s up! Hand me your essays!”, Marinette gave up halfway through her conclusion and stood up to turn her work in, hoping her face didn’t betray the shame she felt at her terrible work. Maybe she could talk to Bustier later and see if she could rewrite the essay for a better grade.

She left class and found her friends waiting for her in the hallway. The four of them started to go to the cafeteria for lunch when Adrien said, “Hey Marinette, can I talk to you for a second?”

Marinette turned to Adrien and blushed. “Yeah, of course.” She grinned at Alya. “Go ahead. We’ll catch up with you.” She wondered what Adrien wanted to talk to her about. Normally at this point her mind would be exploding with all sorts of theories, but she felt yet another flutter in her mind, the edges of her vision going dark. She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath.

“Is something wrong?” asked Adrien, his head tilting in concern. 

Marinette smiled as she tried to come up with an excuse. “Y-Yeah! I’m fine, I just…I…had a headache this morning! I’m feeling a lot better though, but I wish it didn’t happen during our essay. How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he said, brushing over the question. “But I’m worried about you. You seemed a little off today, is ev—”

BANG!

“What _was_ that?” Marinette asked, her heart racing from the sudden scare. 

“I don’t know,” said Adrien. “Maybe—”

BANG!

“It sounds like it’s coming from outside,” Marinette pointed out, striding toward the nearest window. She looked out, and down the street she saw…something green? 

She turned to Adrien. “There’s something out there, but I can’t tell what it is.” 

Adrien ran to the window and peered through. “It looks like someone’s been akumatized. Are those…plants?”

Marinette realized that Adrien was right, that the akuma victim was surrounded by plants. They stomped on the ground, and another BANG! shook the school. But Marinette, still watching through the window, noticed the vines spreading through the streets.

“We should go,” said Adrien, grabbing her hand and tugging on it. “We should get out of the building before that gets us.”

Marinette reflexively tightened her grip on Adrien. She was distracted for a moment by how soft his hands were before nodding. “Yeah, let’s go. Ladybug and Chat Noir will probably arrive soon anyways.”

Adrien’s eyes widened for a moment, but before Marinette could ask if he was okay, his face settled into a determined look. “You're right.” 

Together, they started running.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi hi!! i've gotta say, i've written exactly two fight scenes with two akumas, and i'm very impressed with the miraculous writing staff! they may have very controversial opinions on how to write character arcs, but it's not easy coming up with akumatized villains and unique ways to use lucky charms! anyways, i hope you enjoy! let me know if you're a proud plant parent (like me!) in the comments :) be safe!
> 
> -shazi <3

As she and Adrien made it out of Françoise Dupont, she wasn't sure if she was dizzy from stress or holding Adrien’s hand for this long. She was sure her palm was starting to get sweaty, but Adrien’s grip stayed firm. They left the building and found themselves staring at the akuma, which was getting closer and closer by the second.

It was a woman surrounded by thick green vines, thorny plants as wide as Adrien and Marinette combined that snaked around this woman, surrounding her like a living exoskeleton. The woman had bright green hair with a flower tucked behind her ear that Marinette figured must be where the akuma was hiding. The woman had a dark green apron and black gloves typical for the workers at the local plant nursery.

“I recognize her,” she murmured to Adrien. “Her name is Fleur Moreau and she works at the plant nursery. I wonder why she was akumatized.”

Another sudden rush of dizziness ran through Marinette, spreading past her head and to her arms and legs. It took all her willpower to not react in front of Adrien. What was going on? But she needed to focus. Paris needed Ladybug right now, not Marinette.

Reluctantly, she let go of Adrien’s hand. “I need to go check on my parents. Please, go find somewhere safe to hide.”

“Marinette, are you sure that’s a good idea? You need to go hide, the akuma is coming closer. You need to be careful.” Adrien’s voice was edged with worry, which made Marinette’s heart flutter. Or maybe that was still her head spinning.

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted. “Be safe.” She gave him a quick hug and dashed away before he could protest. She ran to an alleyway, and after checking to make sure nobody was nearby, she opened her purse and said, “Tikki, spots on!”

Tikki flew into her earrings and the burst of magical ladybugs enveloped her. A few seconds later and she was in her familiar red suit. And yet, something felt off. Normally the power of the Miraculous made her stronger, more energized, but not today. Her intermittent dizziness hadn’t gone away—rather, it had gotten worse. She took a few steps and she stumbled, grabbing the wall to steady herself.

“What on earth is going on?” she muttered to herself, pulling out her yo-yo. She scanned the rooftops and saw a black silhouette running across them. Chat Noir. Ladybug tossed her yo-yo and launched herself to the rooftops. 

The feeling of flying through the Parisian sky always energized her, but when she landed on the roof she sank to her knees. Fatigue flooded her body and her head spun. For a moment Ladybug worried she was going to fall off the roof, but she took a deep breath and forced herself to stand up. She took a few shaky steps forward, working her way up to a run as she made her way to Chat Noir.

She tried to control her heavy breathing so Chat Noir wouldn’t ask her if something was wrong, but he still noticed.

“Are you okay, Milady?”

“I’m fine,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound as weak as she felt. “I think the akuma is hiding in that flower in the victim’s hair.”

Chat grinned. “I guess we’re getting right down to business. It sounds like you could use a distraction!” He pounced off the rooftop, drawing the akuma victim’s attention away from the civilians.

“I am Triminator!” she yelled. “Meet my wrath, Ladybug and Chat Noir! Prepare to surrender your Miraculouses!”

“Why not just _leaf_ us alone, Mme. Triminator?” asked Chat Noir. Triminator glared at him and Chat nearly avoided getting hit by a rogue vine.

“Looks like she’s not a fan of your puns, Chat Noir!” called out Ladybug, forcing a laugh like everything was fine. She jumped off the rooftop when another dizzy spell hit, causing her to fall onto the next rooftop instead of the graceful landing as she had anticipated. 

“Are you okay, Bugaboo?” Chat asked, running towards her to help her up.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said through gritted teeth, grabbing Chat’s hand. “I don’t know why I’m so off today.” Black dots danced in her vision again, and she grunted, breathing deeply as Chat Noir pulled her up. She was _not_ going to faint in the middle of an akuma attack.

“Maybe you need a bit of a Lucky Charm,” he suggested.

“Yeah,” she agreed. Chat was probably right. 

Ladybug tossed her yo-yo and yelled, “Lucky Charm!”

The yo-yo started spinning in the air, a cloud of bright lights and magical ladybugs surrounding it before exploding into a flash of brightness that seemed to draw out Ladybug’s remaining strength. She braced herself against a nearby chimney to avoid falling, and her vision whirled again. Something appeared from the brightness and Ladybug managed to catch it as it fell.

A stethoscope.

What was she supposed to do with a _stethoscope_ , give Triminator a checkup? Ladybug’s pulse hiked and she looked around, trying to find _something_ useful. Chat Noir was hopping from rooftop to rooftop, distracting Triminator. Ladybug dodged a stray vine that was snaking its way up the side of a house. She leaped away and made another ungraceful landing, crashing into the tiled roof. The dizziness seemed to flow through her veins, infecting the rest of her body even faster than before. She tried to stand, her legs buckling.

Ladybug clenched her jaw and, trying to ignore the darkness creeping in at the edges of her vision, managed to stand up. Her earrings beeped. 

“Ladybug!” shouted Chat Noir.

It took Ladybug a moment to register that Chat was calling for her. Black dots still swimming in her vision, she watched Chat Noir get hit by one of Triminator’s thorny vines. She never noticed the distance between her mind and her tongue, but in that moment it took far too long for his name to form in her mouth.

“Chat Noir!” she cried, weakly throwing her yo-yo. Her vision blurred so that she couldn’t see anything, but she felt the string go taut and stepped off the roof before she could second-guess herself. By some miracle she made it to Chat, who was already standing up. As her vision sharpened, she saw his steely gaze focused on Triminator.

“Chat Noir, are you okay?”

Chat turned to Ladybug, and as her vision swam in and out of focus she thought she saw his eyes narrow. But at this point, she wasn’t sure what she was seeing. 

“I’m fine,” he said, his eyes still on Triminator. “Have you figured out the Lucky Charm?”

_Oh_. In the haze of everything Ladybug forgot about the Lucky Charm. Where was the stethoscope? In the back of her mind, she registered that her left hand held something in a vice grip. The Lucky Charm.

Her earrings beeped. How much time did she have left? The darkness wormed its way into her sight and the dizziness intensified. She felt her chest tightening and her heart pulsing against her ribcage, but even though she vaguely recognized the feeling of fear dripping down her spine, her mind was two steps behind. Chat was still waiting for a response though, so she tried to form the words to answer him.

“I…” she murmured, swaying in her spot. “I don’t…I don’t know.” Ladybug’s body felt overwhelmed by the lightheadedness, dizziness flurrying through her. Her stomach turned and she felt the urge to vomit. The black dots swimming in front of her merged together.

Falling. In an instant Ladybug recognized the sensation of falling. Dimly, she registered a familiar voice shouting, “Ladybug!” Her shoulder hit the tiled rooftop and hands emerged, cradling her. The same voice yelled, “Cataclysm!” just as a familiar beeping sound rang through her ears.

Then the last shreds of light disappeared from her vision.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so much fun for me to write! my inner fangirl was screaming the whole time, and i hope you all like it too :) let me know what you think and we can scream in the comments together! hope you enjoy <3

The first thing Marinette felt was a dull ache radiating from a sore spot on her shoulder. Then, as she started stirring, she felt her hands resting on the pavement. Her bare hands.

She had detransformed.

“I think she's waking up.” A high-pitched, warm voice she recognized. Tikki.

“Oh, thank goodness.” Another familiar, comforting voice. Chat Noir.

Dread snaked its way through her body, a shivering cold filled with fear that fully woke her up, though she kept her eyes shut. Chat Noir knew who she was. Her identity was no longer a secret.

Her heart hammered against her chest so loudly she figured everyone could hear her, but she knew she couldn't pretend to be asleep forever. It was better to get it over with, anyways. 

Marinette's eyes fluttered open to see Adrien Agreste kneeling over her.

Marinette frowned. She could've sworn she heard Chat Noir earlier. “Adrien?” she asked, more confused than ever. Maybe she was hallucinating. 

Adrien's face broke out into a broad smile. His gaze was soft and Marinette couldn't mistake the relief on his face. He looked beautiful, but she had never seen anyone look at her like this before. Anyone except…

The gears started turning in her head, and just as things started to click into place, Adrien Agreste murmured, “I'm so glad you're okay, Milady.”

Marinette’s heart dropped, and in that moment she knew. Milady. He called her _Milady._

Adrien Agreste was Chat Noir.

Marinette grunted and pushed herself into a seated position, noting with relief that her head wasn't spinning. Adrien immediately helped her lean against the wall, and as she regained her senses she realized they were hidden in an alleyway. Marinette, Tikki, and Chat Noir.

“You're Chat Noir,” she said. The words were unbelievable on her tongue and her mind reeled. _Adrien_ was Chat Noir. The Chat she had rejected over and over was the same boy she pined over at school. Chat Noir, one of her best friends and trusted companions, was the same boy she was in love with. And now they both knew each other's true identities. The one thing they fought so hard to keep secret. 

Adrien smiled. “Yeah, I am.” His face fell. “Is...is that okay?”

“Don't be dumb,” said another familiar voice. Plagg emerged from Adrien’s shirt and gave him an _are you stupid?_ look. “Look at her, of course she's happy.”

Marinette laughed, though she was still struggling to register that Adrien and Chat were the same. She _was_ happy, as well as confused, stunned, and feeling a little exposed. “Hi Plagg,” she said. “Where's Tikki?”

“I'm here, Marinette!” Tikki appeared and kissed her on the cheek. “I'm so glad you're okay!”

Marinette smiled. She still felt weak, but seeing Tikki and Adrien and even Plagg made her feel better. “Have you eaten, Tikki?”

“I fed her and Plagg,” Adrien assured her. “They're back to normal.”

“I don't understand why Plagg likes Camembert so much!” 

Plagg whirled around to glare at Tikki. “Camembert is absolutely divine and I will _not_ stand for your horrific taste in cheeses.”

Marinette, half-listening to the kwamis bickering, nodded and started to stand.

“Wait Marinette, what are you—whoa! ” Adrien stood up just as Marinette’s legs buckled. He caught her and the two of them sat back down, Plagg and Tikki going silent.

“The akuma,” she insisted. “What about—”

“Hey, hey, calm down,” said Adrien, resting his palms on her shoulders. “I was able to hold her off for a bit. We bought some time, but you can’t fight right now. We should get you to a doctor.”

Marinette hung her head in shame. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.”

“I might,” said Adrien. “Your body has been under a lot of stress, not only from the past few months but now everything with Chloé. But you still need to see a doctor.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “The Lucky Charm. It was a _stethoscope._ It wasn’t for the akuma, it was a sign for _me._ ” She glanced around, not entirely sure what she was looking for. “How far away is the closest hospital?”

“About two blocks,” said Adrien. “We should go now, though.”

Marinette nodded, her eyes falling onto Tikki.

Tikki. 

Her hand went to her earring. Would the doctors make her take them off? Adrien seemed to guess what she was thinking and said, “Here, I’ll take your earrings. I won’t use them, but that way Tikki and the earrings will be safe with me.”

Marinette smiled, unclipping her earrings and handing them to Adrien. As he put them on, she couldn’t help but think that he looked handsome in earrings. 

_Focus, Marinette,_ she chided herself. _There’s still an akuma, remember?_

“Whoa,” said Adrien, a slightly dazed look on his face. “It’s strange carrying these two Miraculouses at the same time.”

“It is,” Marinette agreed. “I once had to use sixteen at once.” She still couldn’t get over the feeling that she was exposed, talking about Miraculouses as Marinette with Chat Noir _as Adrien._

“ _Sixteen?_ ” asked Adrien in disbelief, before appearing to remember, “So you used the Fox Miraculous to trick me into thinking Marinette was Multimouse a while ago.” He grinned at her. “You’re even more impressive than I thought, Bugaboo. Now, with your permission, can I take you to the hospital?”

Marinette nodded and Adrien picked her up with ease, banishing her lingering fears that he wouldn’t be able to pick her up. “Thank you, _chaton,_ ” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Adrien froze for a moment, his face going red. As Marinette began to panic—worrying that she said something wrong, that maybe he _was_ disappointed that she was Ladybug—he smiled at her. “Sorry, I’m just trying to get used to Marinette and Ladybug being the same person.” His face softened. “I’m really glad it’s you, Milady.”

If she wasn’t so sick, Marinette probably would have squealed or kissed him or done something stupid. Instead, she settled for a contented sigh. “I’m glad you’re Chat Noir,” she said. She laughed to herself for a moment before adding, “I probably wouldn’t have rejected you as often if I knew who you were.”

Adrien laughed with her. “I can’t believe you were rejecting me for _me._ We were both so oblivious, I—”

_CRASH!_ Adrien and Marinette flinched, and Adrien picked up the pace. 

“It’s probably Triminator,” he said. “We don’t have much time.”

“What did you do to her?”

“I, uh, might have cataclysmed her?” Adrien looked away, a sheepish expression on his face. “And trapped her in a hole that she might be trying to climb out of.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “You _cataclysmed_ her? Will she be okay?” 

“Yeah she will,” he said immediately. “I’ve been cataclysmed before. It’s not fun, but she’ll be okay. It was the only thing I could think to do to hold her off when you fainted. Oh look, we’re almost there.” Faintly, Marinette registered the fluttering in her head. That probably wasn’t a good sign, but maybe she would be okay soon, she figured. She saw the hospital Adrien was pointing out, and a wave of nausea rose from her stomach.

They heard a shrill scream coming from down the block, and Marinette could almost feel it ringing in her head. The fluttering dizziness came back even stronger and black spots swirled in her vision as her heart pulsed in her throat. 

“Whoa,” she said, though everything felt slower, suspended in liquid.

“Are you okay?” asked Adrien. But he sounded far away, like a phantom.

“I…I’m not sure,” she said. She could feel the fuzziness at the edges of her vision slip through the rest of her body, coursing through every vein.

“Hold on, we’re almost…” Adrien’s voice faded at the end and for a moment Marinette wondered why he sounded so far away when she could still feel him carrying her, could still hear his heart beating, before everything went dark.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooo, we're at 20k words!! it's just milestone after milestone, isn't it? thank you all for being so kind and for screaming with me in the comments after the reveal last chapter, and i hope you like this one!

When Marinette woke up again, she was in a plain room with whitewashed walls. There was something cold dripping into her arm, and when she turned to look at it she saw an IV. 

She bolted upright and glanced around the room before her eyes settled on her parents sitting near the bed.

“Maman? Papa?” she asked. “What's going on?”

M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng sighed in relief. Her mother reached out to touch Marinette’s hand. “We were so worried. How are you feeling, honey?”

Marinette thought about that, realizing that her vision felt sharper. Her mind, earlier feeling fuzzy and confused, like it had been stuffed with cotton, felt clear for the first time that day. 

“I feel better,” she said, frowning slightly. She looked around the room. “Where's Adrien?” she asked. _Where's the akuma?_ she didn't ask. 

“He's outside, in the waiting room,” said M. Dupain. “He's not allowed to visit just yet. We need to wait for a doctor to check on you and let us know your test results, to make sure you're not sick..” He paused for a moment. “But darling, what on earth happened?”

The gears in Marinette’s mind started turning. Adrien was Chat Noir, and with him were Plagg and Tikki. She had no idea about what was currently going on with the akuma. She needed to talk to him as soon as she could, but she didn't know how long she'd be here, and the hospital surveillance would make it difficult for them to talk without their covers being blown. Maybe if she could get a message to him…but how could she do that?

Marinette remembered that her parents were waiting for her response. “What did Adrien tell you?” she asked, wondering if that sounded suspicious. “I don't remember everything, but I'll try to fill in the gaps.” 

“Well, he said that when everyone was running from the akuma, he found you unconscious, and ended up carrying you here.”

Marinette nodded, trying to think of what to say. “I remember Adrien beside me when I woke up. I just remember feeling dizzy, and then I saw him. I might have fainted in his arms again, I don't know.” She reached out to her parents. “I'm sorry for making you worry. I love you.”

A knock on the door made everyone jump. A friendly-looking doctor with a warm smile and a clipboard in her arms appeared at the door before walking in.

“ _Bonjour_ ,” she said. “My name is Dr. Lavigne. I'm glad to see you awake, Marinette, how are you feeling?” 

“Much better, thank you,” said Marinette, politely acknowledging the doctor’s pleasantries before moving on. “But what happened? When will I be allowed to leave?”

Dr Lavigne smiled at Marinette, who noticed the stethoscope looped around the doctor’s neck. Though it wasn't red with polka dots, Marinette knew it was identical to her Lucky Charm. She fought the urge to relax with relief that she was right about the Lucky Charm and wondered yet again how Adrien was doing, where Triminator was.

“Your vitals are good, Marinette, and you should be discharged within an hour or two.”

Marinette’s parents sighed in relief. “That's good news, Doctor,” said Mme. Cheng. “Do you know what happened?”

Dr. Lavigne flipped a few pages on her clipboard. “We did a few tests while you were unconscious, Marinette. What stood out to me was that your blood sugar and blood pressure were both very low, but your cortisol levels were quite high. Your body weight is also rather low for your height. We gave you some nutrients intravenously to raise your blood sugar, as well as a mild sedative, and you seem to be responding quite well.” She gave Marinette a sympathetic look. “It seems like you've been under a lot of stress lately. Tell me, when was the last time you ate?”

Marinette blanched. She racked her brain, trying to remember. “Maybe yesterday,” she admitted, avoiding looking at her parents.

“And have you been feeling a heightened level of anxiety and stress lately?”

Reluctantly, Marinette nodded again. “Yes.”

Dr. Lavigne scribbled something down and said, “I’ll be referring you to a licensed mental health professional. I suspect you might have some underlying mental health conditions, and I think you will benefit from therapy and possibly prescription medications.”

“What does this mean?” asked Mme. Cheng. “When should we start her treatment?”

“As soon as realistically possible. I can imagine Marinette is very busy, but the sooner you can start, the better. I will send you the referral information.”

“What do mental health professionals do?” Marinette asked. She wanted to ask how much they could keep secret, but she knew she couldn’t ask that.

“A lot of things! They can provide talk and psychotherapy, and some can prescribe medication as well. I need to do a bit more paperwork, but the person I’ll be referring you to is honestly a superhero.” 

At the word ‘superhero’, Marinette glanced at Dr. Lavigne. She caught her eye and the doctor gave her a subtle smile. 

M. Dupain laughed. “Maybe she should join Ladybug and Chat Noir,” he joked.

Dr. Lavigne grinned. “Honestly, I think she’d get along with Ladybug quite a bit.” She turned to Marinette. “Your vitals are stable, and I think you’ll be discharged within the hour. Take care, okay?” 

Marinette nodded, wondering just how much this doctor knew. “Thank you, Doctor,” she said. “I will."

**…**

Forty-five minutes later, a nurse informed them that Marinette was discharged from the hospital. After doing some paperwork, the Dupain-Cheng family was ready to go. Except Marinette.

After thinking things over, she realized that she was backed into a corner. The akuma was still out there, probably beginning to do damage again after Chat— _Adrien_ —slowed her down. She wouldn't have been able to put up much of a fight anyways, but her parents were watching her like bears eyeing their cubs, and she knew they wouldn't let her out of their sight if she gave them a garbage excuse. And Adrien still had Tikki with him.

No, the only thing she could do was come clean and admit to them that she was Ladybug. The thought set her on edge—after all, they would be the second and third people she's told both today and _ever_. Normally people were oblivious to her alter ego, even with all of Marinette’s lame excuses. Maybe Dr. Lavigne was the exception, but she was the first person clever and perceptive enough to make the connection, which meant more could follow.

But the more she thought about it, the more Marinette realized she didn't have a choice, not if she wanted to save Paris again. She knew it was a risky idea—what if they got akumatized? What if they forced her to stop?—but as she thought through the many possibilities, her heart sinking, she knew what she had to do.

The only thing she had left to do was to get her earrings from Adrien.

The Dupain-Cheng family left the hospital room and entered the waiting room. Marinette scanned the anxious people waiting and found him. Adrien lifted his gaze and once he noticed her, he bolted upright and ran towards her.

Adrien almost tackled Marinette with the force of his hug, and Marinette needed to use every last drop of her willpower to fight the urge to do something stupid. 

“I'm so glad you're okay,” he said, pulling back to take in Marinette’s face. “You scared me.”

Marinette smiled at him, a part of her stunned that he looked so beautiful up close. “I'm sorry about that, Adrien. And you too, Plagg and Tikki.” She was aware of her parents watching the scene, and though she couldn't see him out of the corner of her eye, she knew her father was just about melting with delight. She saw Tikki and Plagg smiling at her from inside Adrien’s shirt, and she gave them both a quick pat on the head. Then, Marinette pulled Adrien back in for another hug and started whispering in his ear. 

“The akuma won't be held off for much longer, but I've put my parents through enough today, and I don't think I can lie or force my way away from them. I've thought about it for a while, and I need to tell them the truth. I just need my earrings.”

She felt the hot breath of Adrien’s sigh on her neck and got goosebumps. He whispered back to her, “I'll come with you. I can help convince them.”

Marinette froze. “But your identity!”

“I trust your parents,” he said. “We can protect them, and they deserve to know. I already made a deal with my bodyguard, and I don't want to let you out of my sight just yet.” He let go of her, a tender smile on his face. “It'll be okay, Milady.”

Marinette smiled, her face warm. “I hope you're right.”

They let go of each other, and Marinette's parents took this as an opportunity to approach them. M. Dupain swept Adrien into one of his classic bone-crushing hugs, but Adrien didn't seem to mind. In fact, when her father eventually let go, Marinette noticed how reluctant Adrien seemed. She resolved to give him more hugs in the future.

“Thank you so much for taking care of our daughter,” said Mme. Cheng, gently embracing Adrien. “It means the world to us that she was in such good hands. Now, is there anything we can do for you? Would you like a ride back home?”

Marinette seized the opportunity. “Actually, Maman and Papa, could he come home with us? There's something important we have to talk about with you.”

M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng exchanged a doubtful glance. “You should rest, darling,” said her mother. “I'm not sure if this is the best idea.”

Marinette took her parents’ hands in her own. “I'm really sorry about not being fully honest with you. You knew long before I did that I do need help, and I know that now. You're both good parents and you know what's best for me. But _please_ , this is important.”

After a few moments of hesitation, her parents relented. “Okay,” agreed M. Dupain. “We trust you. Come with us, Adrien.”

Adrien smiled. “My pleasure.”

A short car ride later and the four of them entered the _Boulangerie Patisserie._ The familiar fingers of dread slid down Marinette’s neck, and she shivered as she walked in. They sat on the couches downstairs, and after offering Adrien a pastry that he eyed longingly before politely declining, Mme. Cheng said, “Now what's going on?”

Adrien and Marinette exchanged a glance. Adrien gave Marinette a supportive squeeze of the hand. Her throat felt dry and her heartbeat crept up from her chest to meet the dread dripping down her shoulders. She faced her parents and took a deep breath in. Then out. Just like a certain cat taught her. 

“Maman, Papa…I'm Ladybug.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! i hope you're all having yet another MIRACULOUS day! sorry (not sorry) about that cliffhanger last chapter! hopefully this makes up for it :P let me know what you think!

Marinette could’ve sworn that her parents’ jaws unhinged from their skulls. She never really understood the “eyes popping out of their head” description, but as she watched her parents trying to process the fact that _she_ was one of two heroes saving Paris on a regular basis, she had to agree that it _did_ look like their eyes were popping out of their heads.

“I—wait—Y-You’re…You’re _Ladybug_?” stammered M. Dupain. “ _You’re LADYBUG_?” He turned to Adrien. “And you _knew_?”

Mme. Cheng was silent up until now, but as Adrien started to respond to M. Dupain, she interrupted him, slowly saying, “You knew because you’re Chat Noir, aren’t you?”

Adrien gasped softly. “How…how did you figure it out?”

“It was just a guess, but I had a feeling I was right.” Mme. Cheng gave him a weak smile and added, “Ladybug’s intelligence had to have come from somewhere.” 

M. Dupain was dumbfounded. “But what about the akuma? And the mayor’s dau—” His eyes widened and filled with tears, and he turned to Marinette. “Is that why—is that why you… because of the news anchor? And Andre’s daughter?” He stood and walked towards Marinette, picking her up and hugging her. “I’m so sorry. You've been through so much and I had no idea.”

Marinette’s eyes started watering, and she hugged her father back. “It’s okay, Papa, you couldn't have known.” As she tried to wrap her mind around the fact that her parents knew her secret now, Marinette realized just how much _lighter_ she felt. “I’m really glad I was finally able to tell you two,” she added. “It’s been tough keeping this a secret.”

Mme. Cheng hugged the two of them, and out of the corner of her eye Marinette saw her mother gesture towards Adrien, pulling him into the hug as well. For a few moments, Marinette felt safe and loved, and all of her current stresses disappeared.

Then they heard a familiar voice screeching, “Ladybug! Chat Noir! I will find you!”

The four of them broke apart to see Triminator stalking down the street. Adrien blanched and murmured, “She’s probably really angry about my cataclysm.”

“But Adrien, Marinette, it’s not safe for you to go fight her! Especially you, Marinette,” insisted M. Dupain.

“Papa, you know I don’t have a choice,” she said. “I’ll be safe, I promise.” She turned to Adrien. “Can I have Tikki and my Miraculous back, please?”

Adrien gave her one of his glowing smiles and unclipped her earrings, handing them to her. Tikki and Plagg both flew out from inside his shirt, and Marinette’s parents paled. 

“Are those…flying mouses?” asked Mme. Cheng, staring at the kwamis.

Tikki flew up to M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng while Marinette clipped on her earrings. “It’s lovely to finally meet you both! My name is Tikki, and over there is my friend Plagg. We’re kwamis, and alongside our Miraculouses, which are the jewelry pieces that Adrien and Marinette are wearing, we work with our heroes so they can become Ladybug and Chat Noir!”

Her parents gave Marinette a stunned look. “She’s been living with us all this time? Is _that_ why we always run out of macarons?”

“Your macarons are quite tasty,” added Tikki with a grin. “Thank you for them!”

Marinette gave a sheepish smile. “Maybe it’s better to just demonstrate.” Acutely aware of the fact that she was transforming in front of three people for the first time, she cried, “Tikki, spots on!”

Tikki flew into her earrings and a burst of colors and ladybugs emerged, covering her in her classic spotted bodysuit and mask. Ladybug didn’t feel quite as energized as she usually did, but at least her head was still clear and she wasn’t at risk for fainting again. 

“Wow, it really _is_ you,” murmured M. Dupain. His face broke out into a grin. “My daughter helps save Paris! I’m so proud of you!”

Ladybug turned to Adrien, her face reddening. “It’s strange, isn’t it?” she said, wondering yet again how Adrien felt about Marinette being Ladybug. “You should transform too.”

Adrien nodded, appearing much calmer on the surface than Ladybug figured he felt on the inside. “Plagg, claws out!” he shouted.

A flash of greenish-white light exploded from him, and a few moments later, Chat Noir stood there. Ladybug _knew_ Adrien and Chat were the same, but seeing him transform in front of her still made her jaw drop. 

Adrien— _Chat Noir_ —flashed his familiar grin, though he couldn’t keep eye contact with Ladybug for very long. “Now what, Ladybug?” he asked.

Ladybug smiled. “Let's go get some help.” She turned to M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng, giving them both a quick hug. “I love you, Maman and Papa! I'll be safe, don't worry.” She started making her way to her room. 

Both still in shock, they smiled and waved goodbye. “Stay safe,” insisted Mme. Cheng.

“I'll keep her safe,” promised Chat Noir before following Ladybug up the stairs.

As soon as she climbed through the trapdoor, Ladybug remembered her Wall of Adrien. The same Adrien who was also Chat Noir who was also following her to her room. 

Ladybug fought the urge to facepalm and hoped that Adrien—Chat Noir—wouldn't notice or comment on it. She had something more important to do, anyways.

“You know, I always liked your room,” commented Chat, leaning against the wall while Ladybug strode across to her bed. 

“Thanks!” she said, crouching down by the foot of her bed as she pried open a wall pane.

“What are you doing?” asked Chat, just as Ladybug fished out a key. Chat Noir peeked out of the window, adding, “We don't have much more time, Milady.” Faintly, Ladybug could hear Triminator stalking down the streets, and she jammed the key into her locked drawer, unlocking it to reveal the red and black spotted Miracle box. She pressed a few buttons and the Miracle box unfurled, expanding to reveal the many compartments, each one containing a dark capsule that contained a different Miraculous. 

“Are those all of the Miraculouses?” Chat crouched down next to Ladybug, who sorted through the many Miraculouses before picking out a few.

“Yes, they are,” she said, frowning. “If I can’t fight, we’ll need a team, but I’m not sure who we should use.” There were _so many_ , and Ladybug felt the creeping anxiety slipping down her spine. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” said Chat, appearing to sense Ladybug’s stress. “Who are the people you trust the most?”

“Alya and Nino,” she said without hesitating. 

Chat Noir’s eyes widened. “Alya and Nino? You mean…they’re Rena Rouge and Carapace, aren’t they?”

Ladybug nodded, and grabbed the Fox and Turtle Miraculouses. “I trust them. And then there’s Luka and Kagami.”

“Luka’s out of town, with Juleka,” Chat pointed out. “But Kagami should be here. I was supposed to have fencing practice with her this afternoon.” He looked away, scratching at the back of his head. 

Ladybug smiled. She liked Kagami quite a bit; even though they both had feelings for Adrien, they realized that they enjoyed each other’s company and put aside any hard feelings they used to have. She grabbed the three Miraculouses and together, she and Chat climbed out the window and started making their way across Paris.

**…**

On the rooftop, Ladybug handed Chat the Turtle and Fox Miraculouses. “Go find Nino and Alya,” she said. “I'll look for Kagami.”

Chat smiled at her. “Will do, Bugaboo.” 

Ladybug blushed—she still couldn't get over _Adrien_ being Chat Noir, but she smiled and gently punched him in the shoulder. “Go on, _chaton_.”

Chat Noir’s eyes lit up at her playing along with his little rhyming pet name. He bowed gracefully, kissing her hand before darting off toward Françoise Dupont to find Nino and Alya. Ladybug giggled in Chat’s direction before composing herself and scanning the streets, looking for Kagami.

_CRASH!_ Triminator was getting closer and angrier. From the rooftops, she could see her green vines snaking through the streets and getting closer and closer to her and Chat. Ladybug felt the buzz of anxiety tightening around her neck, but she hopped from rooftop to rooftop, hoping she would find who she was looking for.

There! Ladybug saw Kagami leaning against the wall of an alleyway, listening carefully for any signs of danger. Ladybug lightly set foot near Kagami, hoping she wouldn't startle the girl too much. 

Kagami’s head whipped around, gasping as she took in the sight of Ladybug. “ _Ladybug_? You're okay!” She grabbed her shoulders as if she couldn't believe the superhero was real before pulling her into a hug.

Ladybug smiled. “Of course I'm okay, why would I not be?”

Kagami’s eyes narrowed and she pulled back. “You fainted. It was all over the news, did you not see? Some people thought you died.”

Ladybug groaned, facepalming. “Of _course_ they're running stories about me dying. I'm alive, but I'm not at my full strength. Will you help me?” She extended her hand, holding the Dragon Miraculous.

Kagami nodded and opened the box. “Hello, Longg,” she said, greeting the kwami and putting on the choker. “It's nice to see you again. Longg, bring the storm!”

In a flash of brightness and lightning bolts, Ryuko appeared in front of Ladybug, a confident smile on her face. “I'm ready when you are, Ladybug. Tell me what we need to do.”

Ladybug grinned at her ally. “Follow me.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! i hope you're all having a wonderful day! this was a pretty fun chapter to write, and i'm excited to get into the climax of the story :D i'm curious though: do any of you have any suggestions or requests for other stories in this little universe once i'm finished with vicious eyes? i'd love to keep writing for this world and i have a few ideas, but i really want to hear what you all think! 
> 
> \- shazi <3

With Ryuko at her side, Ladybug climbed to the roof to look for Chat Noir. In the distance, they could see Triminator tearing up the streets less than a block away as she clawed her way to Ladybug and Chat. Ladybug opened her yo-yo to see if Chat had left her any messages before calling him. 

“Chat Noir, I’m with Ryuko. Triminator is a block away from us, near Fran—”

“Ahh!” The pained groan sounded like Chat. In the background, Ladybug heard Nino shout, “Chat Noir!” Then the familiar laughter crackling through the air.

Ladybug paled and turned to Ryuko. Without saying anything, she nodded and the two of them started running towards Triminator. Her mind raced—was Adrien okay? What was going on? What about Nino and Alya? Her stomach twisted and she felt an icy ball of dread drop into her ribcage. Even though she knew she shouldn’t push it, she ran faster.

Ladybug’s vision glazed over and she kept running, running, running to make sure the horrible visions of a broken Adrien or an injured Alya or a battered Nino weren’t true, weren’t—

Something pulled Ladybug backward by the shoulder. Ryuko was there to catch her, wrapping her arms around Ladybug. As her vision cleared, she realized that Ryuko saved Ladybug from falling off the roof, from alerting Triminator to their presence.

“Ladybug, are you okay?” whispered Ryuko.

Ladybug shook off the haziness and turned to the dragon superhero. What was going on with her? “I’m okay, Ryuko. Let’s see what’s going on,” she said, her voice low. They crept closer to the scene and, hiding behind a chimney, Ladybug watched.

Rena Rouge was an unmistakable blur of orange and white. She bounced all around Triminator, drawing as much attention to herself as she could and hitting the akumatized villain with her flute. Beneath the squabble, she saw Carapace helping Chat Noir up, and she could imagine Nino’s fearful but determined face as the two of them hobbled to take cover. 

A choked sound escaped from Ladybug’s throat, but before she tried to convince herself to go after Chat, she turned to Ryuko.

“Go distract Triminator. I'm going to find Rena Rouge.”

Ryuko nodded. “Of course, Ladybug.” Her face softened for a moment. “Take care.” Then, before Ladybug could respond, she was gone.

Ladybug took a shaky breath and, watching Chat Noir standing up, leaning on Carapace, she ran to Rena.

The fox superhero was clearly getting tired, beads of sweat slipping down her face as she steadied herself and prepared to pounce on Triminator once more. 

“Rena Rouge!” Ladybug called, tossing her yo-yo and swinging over to her friend. Rena turned towards the sound, her eyes widening as she recognized her.

“Ladybug!” she said, her voice breathless. “You're okay!”

Ladybug smiled. “I am. But let's stop talking about me. I think we need a bit of a Mirage, don't you?”

Rena Rouge grinned and pulled out her flute. “As you wish. Mirage!”

A few moments later and there were suddenly far more superheroes at the scene. More Ladybugs, more Chat Noirs, more Carapaces and Rena Rouges and Ryukos. Ladybug could see the real superheroes doing a double-take as they regained their bearings, but Triminator didn't notice the subtle detail, and she grew angrier.

“You will _pay_!” she growled, raising her vine-covered hand. More plants erupted from beneath the paved road as the superheroes, real and fake, dodged them. They only made the akumatized villain more livid as she let out a piercing shriek and stomped on the ground, more thorny vines slashing their way through the streets. A few of the false superheroes were hit, the illusion vanishing as they crumbled out of existence. 

Ladybug jumped in, swinging her yo-yo to block Ryuko and Chat from being hit by a stray vine. The relief on both of their faces made her smile, but just as she turned to face Triminator, she felt a hand on her arm.

“No, Ladybug,” said Chat. “You know you can't fight.”

Ladybug deflated. She knew he was right, but she wanted to ignore him, to prove him wrong and keep them all safe. But she turned to face Chat Noir, face _Adrien’s_ concerned green eyes, and she knew he was right.

Though it took all her restraint, Ladybug stood back, hiding away from the action. It was chaos that she knew she didn't have the strength to keep up with. As the superheroes battered Triminator the vines grew thicker, stronger, more dangerous with her growing rage. Ladybug could almost feel a vine closing in around her throat, poisoning her mind with images of the worst that could happen. 

Then the flower caught her eye. It was bright pink with giant petals—too noticeable for it to not mean something. She pulled out her yo-yo, flipping open the top to call Chat Noir.

“Milady?” Chat grunted, and from above Ladybug could see him dodging a vine. “What's going on?”

 _Damn,_ she really wanted to be out there fighting with him. It was excruciating to be watching, to be unable to do her part to help protect her city. However, she took a deep breath in, then out.

“We need to get to the flower,” she said. “Ryuko might be able to help.”

For a brief moment she saw Chat glance at her and wink. “Of course,” he said, his voice coming through the communicator. A pang in her heart, Ladybug watched Chat find Ryuko, heard her friend shout, “Water Dragon!” and dissolve into a tidal wave while she stood back and watched.

Watched the massive wall of water knock the flower out of Triminator’s hair. Watched the vines absorb the excess water, watched them swell up and grow even bigger.

“Ryuko!” she screamed!” just as she rematerialized in the air, the flower in her hand as she fell into Carapace's outstretched arms. He jumped down, carrying the unconscious superhero before laying her on the ground and shouting, “Shell-ter!”

A green web emerged from him, shoving the vines back as it expanded around him, protecting Ryuko. The flower had been pushed aside, and Chat Noir grabbed it, tearing the flower to reveal nothing.

The akuma wasn't there. 

Ladybug felt her entire body go rigid. If it wasn't in the flower, then where could it be? Ryuko was still unconscious, Carapace was protecting her, and Rena Rouge would detransform any minute. 

Running out of ideas, Ladybug threw her yo-yo into the air and shouted, “Lucky Charm!”

Emerging from the cloud of magical ladybugs was something small, something that took her a moment to recognize. Sitting in her palm was a red and black spotted copy of the Bee Miraculous.

 _No._ She needed _Chloé._

Ladybug's breath hitched, and she took several steadying deep breaths. Of _course_ she would have to rely on the one person she didn't want to. Her mind flashed back to the awful comments, to Chloé Bourgeois telling her that she was awful at her job, to wanting to _replace_ her. Even if Ladybug _could_ ask her, who was to say that she would listen? A darker corner of her mind told her to ignore the Lucky Charm, to just come up with a separate plan or, better yet, wear the Miraculous herself. 

But she knew she was kidding herself. She wasn't even strong enough to fight, let alone to wear _two_ Miraculouses. Deep down, even though she dreaded it, she knew she had to listen to her Lucky Charm.

Ladybug ran down to Chat Noir, grabbing and pulling him away from a vine about to hit him. “I'm sorry for distracting you,” she apologized. “This is important.”

Chat Noir turned to Ladybug. “Of course. What is it?” 

Still not quite believing her plan, Ladybug said, “I need Queen Bee. I need Chloé.”

Chat Noir’s jaw dropped, and he stared at her. As if he didn't hear her right, he said, “I beg your pardon? You need _Chloé_?”

In answer, Ladybug held out the Lucky Charm copy of the Bee Miraculous. Chat Noir picked it up as if he had never seen anything like it before.

“Why _Chloé_?” he asked, his voice pained, as if the thought of asking Chloé for help hurt him just as much as it hurt Ladybug.

“It'll take too long to explain it to someone new, and I'm not strong enough to wield it myself.”

“But I can!” Chat protested. “What if it's a sign for me to wear it?”

“I need you here to protect Ryuko and everyone else,” she said. “I don't want to risk something happening to the Miraculous, or even worse, to you.” She flipped open her yo-yo and reached in, pulling out a strawberry macaron from this morning. “Give this to Rena Rouge. She's about to detransform. I should get going.”

Chat Noir shook his head. “I can't believe you're asking Chloé for help, but it shows just how brave you are, Ladybug.” Ladybug took in his fond, if slightly disbelieving gaze. She watched him glance at Triminator before cupping his hand around Ladybug’s face and swiftly kissing her. 

Ladybug let out a soft gasp. As he pulled away, her gaze flitted back to Chat, to _Adrien_ , who said, “I'll protect them. You should go now.” He gave her a soft smile and said, “Come back in one piece, okay? I'm very _frond_ of you.”

Ladybug laughed at his stupid pun, her face warm. “I won't _leaf_ you, I promise.” She gave him one last look, resisting the urge to touch her mouth or scream or maybe just faint from joy on the spot. Instead, she tossed her yo-yo, steeling herself to find Chloé Bourgeois and smiling from the residual memory of Adrien Agreste's kiss.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh this was a fun one to write! i remember being disappointed with chloé's character arc in canon, so it's kind of fun to see if i can redeem her a little! i hope you all enjoy <3

Gripping the box so tightly Ladybug wondered if she was bruising her palm, she tossed her yo-yo and made her way to the Bourgeois mansion. The past few minutes were quite the rollercoaster—first realizing that she had to reach out to Chloé for help, then _Adrien Agreste kissing her_ (Adrien Agreste! She couldn’t believe it!) before crashing down again, the anxiety building as she forced herself to keep going towards the Bourgeois mansion. 

She took a deep breath in. Then out. And then, she lightly touched her lips, unable to contain her smile in spite of her growing dread at the thought of facing Chloé. She had kissed Chat Noir before, but that was long before she ever began to catch feelings for him, and especially long before she learned he was also _Adrien._

It was with this massive grin on her face that Ladybug arrived at Chloé’s balcony. Chloé Bourgeois was standing there, leaning against the balcony and staring into the distance before being startled by Ladybug's presence.

Chloé’s eyes narrowed, and she glared at Ladybug. “What are _you_ doing here?” She gave her an appraising look. “And why are you smiling like that?”

Ladybug took a deep breath and kept up a smile, albeit a forced one. “It's nice to see you, Chloé. I must admit I'm surprised, though. I would've expected you to be near the action, since you want to take over my role.” Though she knew she shouldn't be antagonizing Chloé, Ladybug was bitter about everything she did to ruin her life. She figured she was somewhat justified in being a little snarky.

Chloé huffed, hunching her shoulders. “What do you want, Ladybug?”

Ladybug caught herself clenching the box in her hand. Her earrings beeped and she realized she needed to make this quick. “I need you to help us fight Triminator with the Bee Miraculous. Are you up for it, Queen Bee?”

Chloé’s eyes widened, and Ladybug could see the ghost of a smile appearing before she furrowed her eyebrows and clamped down any happiness with a frown. “I don’t want your sloppy seconds,” she said, crossing her arms and turning away.

Resisting the temptation to roll her eyes, Ladybug offered the box. “I need your help, Chloé. Don’t you want to save Paris?”

Chloé scoffed. “I could just do that on my own. I don’t need to work with you.”

“Then why don’t you?” Ladybug snapped. She caught herself and, in a calmer tone, added, “Why do you want to be Ladybug so badly anyways?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Ladybug frowned. Frankly, she couldn’t see why anyone wanted to be Ladybug. The pressure of an entire city to save on a regular basis, the thousands of people judging her for every move she made, for how she looked and acted? It was a lot to handle. 

She shook her head. “No, to be honest. I don’t know why you’d want it.”

Chloé sighed. “You’re so well-liked. Everyone admires you. Even I did.”

Ladybug bit back a laugh. “I _wish_ everyone admired me. Long before your campaign to take me down, news anchors were shaming my appearance and criticizing my every move. Why else do you think I got as sick as I am?” She couldn’t believe she was openly admitting her problem to Chloé Bourgeois of all people, but she figured that the day was already weird enough.

Chloé looked away, saying nothing. Ladybug wondered if she felt ashamed, a small part of her happy at the thought. As much as Ladybug wanted to leave, wanted to make Chloé feel guilty for everything she did to her, she knew that Paris was more important right now.

“Look, Chloé. I’m sorry for anything I did to make you feel bad. I’m sorry if I slighted you, and I’m sorry for not being as kind to you as I could’ve been. But right now Paris is at stake, and I _need_ your help. The Lucky Charm told me to come get you. Please, don’t ignore that sign.”

At Ladybug’s mention of the Lucky Charm, Chloé lifted her gaze. She had a dubious look on her face, but she said, “Did it really?”

Ladybug saw her chance. “It did.” She reached into her yo-yo and pulled out the red and black spotted hair comb. “Look.” 

Chloé plucked the comb out of Ladybug’s hands, bringing it close to her face and tracing the surface with her fingers as if trying to rub off paint. 

“It’s real,” she promised, extending her hand to take it back. Chloé dropped it in her palm and crossed her arms, now more pensive than angry. 

“I believe you, Ladybug.” She looked out at the Parisian skyline, at Triminator’s silhouette in the distance. “I’ll do it.”

Ladybug sighed in relief. “Here you go,” she said, handing her the Bee Miraculous. 

Chloé opened the box and Pollen appeared in front of her. “Hey Pollen,” she said, a smile appearing for the first time. “Buzz on!” 

Surrounded by a haze of bright lights and magical bees, Queen Bee emerged, a confident grin on her face. “I forgot how good this feels. What’s next, Ladybug?”

“Stay here while I feed my kwami first,” said Ladybug. “Then, follow me.”

Ladybug disappeared behind a chimney and said, “Spots off.” An exhausted Tikki emerged from her earrings as her outfit morphed back into her civilian clothes. Marinette smiled at the kwami and reached into her purse, pulling out a macaron and handing it to her. As Tikki nibbled away, Marinette carefully listened, making sure Chloé wouldn't try to spy on her and figure out her true identity.

“Is this a good idea, Tikki?” she murmured.

Tikki stopped eating. “Is what a good idea?”

Marinette sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Relying on Chloé. What if we can't trust her?”

Tikki swallowed her last few bites of macaron and flew to Marinette. “It was brave of you to entrust Chloé with the Miraculous. I know how hard a decision it was for you to make. But now you have to follow through with it.” 

“But she didn't even apologize,” she protested, crossing in her arms in a gesture that felt petulant. “ _I_ was the one who apologized to her when she was the one who wrecked my life. That's not fair.”

“That says more about you than it does about her,” Tikki reminded Marinette. “I know it's a lot, but you're the superhero in charge, not Chloé.”

“I know, it's just—”

“Ryuko is unconscious and Carapace is shielding her right now while Rena Rouge and Chat Noir are fighting a losing battle,” Tikki said, cutting her off. “Ladybug needs to be focused right now. Now go join Queen Bee to help your friends.”

“You're right. Thank you for that, I needed it.” Marinette took a deep breath in, then out. “Tikki, spots on!”

Ladybug emerged from behind the chimney to a patiently waiting Queen Bee sitting on the edge of her balcony. Queen Bee stood up when she noticed Ladybug and said, “Your kwami? Is she okay?” 

Ladybug smiled. “She is. Now follow me, Queen Bee.”

Queen Bee nodded, a determined expression on her face. “Whatever you say, Ladybug.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, this was a long chapter to write! i can't believe we're getting so close to the end of this journey together! i hope you enjoy, and thanks so much to all of you who have been sticking around!

Hiding just outside of Triminator's vision, Ladybug and Queen Bee watched the battle below. Ladybug scanned the scene for Chat, making sure he was okay, before noticing with a pang of guilt that Carapace was struggling to keep up his Shell-ter, a disoriented Ryuko shielded underneath as she tried to regain her bearings. 

Ladybug felt something cold form in the pit of her stomach and spill through the rest of her body, drowning her in dread. But no, she couldn't just jump in. She was Ladybug, she needed to form a plan. 

“Queen Bee, go help Chat Noir and Rena Rouge,” Ladybug said, her gaze focused on the scene. “I'm going to find Ryuko.”

Queen Bee nodded. “Yes, Ladybug.” Ladybug watched her hop off the roof and stick an elegant landing just behind a surprised Chat and Rena. Queen Bee gave a dramatic bow before Rena Rouge tackled her out of the way of one of Triminator's vines. Ladybug cringed. Was it a bad idea to choose Chloé?

No, she couldn't let Chloé Bourgeois distract her. She leaped off the building and ran towards Ryuko and Carapace, helping the dragon superhero up.

“Ryuko,” she said, grabbing her by the waist and helping her up. “Are you okay?”

Ryuko nodded, her jaw clenched. “Thank you for protecting me, Carapace. Triminator drained me of my energy but I should be okay now.”

Ladybug carried Ryuko further from the action, leaning her against a wall so she could rest. “We might need some wind or lightning later,” she said. “Rest here for a bit, okay?”

“Okay,” she murmured, looking up at Ladybug. “Will you be alright?”

_BANG!_ Ryuko and Ladybug both flinched at the heavy thump of a stray vine hitting something—or worse, someone. 

“I’ll be fine,” she said with a smile. “Don’t worry about me. You need to rest, okay? I’ll be back.”

Ladybug ran towards the fight, hoping that nobody was hurt. Hiding behind a big piece of debris and gasping for breath, Ladybug watched Queen Bee protect Chat Noir from getting hit, kicking away one of her vines. Chat ducked into a roll before getting up, turning to vault himself towards the akuma before Ladybug managed to catch his eye. He turned around, glancing back at Queen Bee to make sure she was okay before finding Ladybug.

“Ladybug,” he said, panting and bracing himself against a giant piece of twisted metal. “Do you…have a plan? I don’t…I don’t know how much longer we can hold out against her.” For as tired as Ladybug felt, Chat Noir looked worse. His face and bodysuit were covered in scratches, and his gorgeous blond hair was limp with sweat. Ladybug couldn’t imagine how tired and sore he must have felt. 

Ladybug did _not_ have a plan, but she figured that telling that to Chat Noir would be a bad idea. “I have some ideas,” she said, hoping she wasn't bending the truth too much. “Go help Rena Rouge and Queen Bee,” she insisted. “I just need a little more time.”

Chat nodded, giving her a concerned glance before turning back towards Triminator, his jaw set.

Ladybug’s mind felt foggy, but in the haze of the battle she remembered she still had another secret weapon. “Lucky Charm!” she called, tossing her yo-yo. The magical ladybugs were a welcome sight, and as they vanished, a small object appeared and dropped into her hand.

A glass flask? Ladybug studied the thing, and after shaking it, she realized it was filled with a liquid. After quite a bit of pulling, she managed to yank the top off, and as soon as the floral scent hit her nose she realized it was a bottle of perfume.

Perfume? How could she use perfume? Ladybug chewed at her lip, trying to think of a plan. Everyone _needed_ her, she couldn’t let them down. She crept closer to Triminator to get a better look at her.

_Thud._ Ladybug flinched as she saw Chat get hit again by one of the vines, knocked to the ground. Rena Rouge ran to help him up, and she winced at the long cut on her face. Ladybug started creeping towards them when Chat Noir caught her eye and shook his head. He stood, leaning against Rena for a moment before regaining his balance, and Ladybug knew she had to stay behind, even though every fiber of her being screamed at her to go help, to keep Chat—to keep _everyone_ —safe. But she stayed behind, fighting back tears and the worries about ruining everything.

Ladybug pinched the bridge of her nose. She needed _focus_ , not worry about everything that could happen. Triminator’s plants had swelled in size and power, and it was easy to get lost in watching the powerful green, thorn-laden vines uprooting paved roads and throwing people around like rags. 

“But they’re distractions,” she murmured aloud in realization. The akuma wouldn’t be hidden there. Ladybug studied the person shielded within the protective shield of vines, and as Triminator moved to attack again, Ladybug saw something catch the sunlight. 

Was it a necklace? At a second glance, Ladybug could see that it was a pale green pendant in the shape of a leaf. Could the akuma be there? She took a closer look at the spotted perfume bottle. It looked nothing like a normal bottle, like the ones she had at home—there wasn’t even a way for her to spray it. But she couldn’t just throw the bottle at Triminator, otherwise the Lucky Charm would’ve just been a brick or something like that. No, she needed the actual perfume. Maybe she could break it…?

And with that last thought, she had an idea. She ran back to Ryuko, who looked less pale and was sitting upright instead of leaning against the wall. Her eyes were more focused, filled with the familiar sharpness Ladybug admired and slightly feared. 

“Ladybug? What is it?” she asked. “How can I help?”

“Are you okay? How are you feeling?” Ladybug asked, hoping to gauge whether Ryuko was up for her plan.

“Better,” Ryuko admitted. “I’ve had fencing bruises worse than this.” 

Ladybug had a feeling Ryuko was downplaying her injuries, but she decided not to question her. “Would you be able to transform into the Wind Dragon?”

Ryuko nodded, standing up. “Right now?”

Ladybug shook her head, glancing back to make sure Triminator was still occupied. “On my signal. You'll need to blow something towards the akuma.” She smiled. “You're smart, I know you'll know what to do. Now I need to find the others.”

Ladybug left Ryuko, who ran closer to the action to keep the vines at bay and prevent them from destroying the area. Now, Ladybug needed Chloé and Chat, but she wasn’t sure how to get their attention without alerting Triminator.

She spotted Queen Bee first, the yellow-clad superhero buzzing around, irritating Triminator as she slashed at the vines, even cutting off a few of them. The thick green plants flailed around for several seconds before shriveling into brown and then crumbling into nothingness. But just as Chloé stood in triumph over yet another shriveling vine, Triminator knocked her to the ground.

Now was Ladybug’s chance. She ran in to protect Chloé, swinging her yo-yo to shield the two of them.

“I’m _fine_ , Ladybug,” Queen Bee protested, starting to shove her off. “I can keep—”

“On my signal I need you to use Venom on Triminator,” Ladybug said, her voice low. “Can you do that?”

Chloé fell into a stunned silence, giving Ladybug a surprised, almost disbelieving look. “I keep getting hit by the vines. Stinging one of her plant arms isn’t going to do _anything_ , Ladybug.”

Ladybug bit back a groan. “I know, Queen Bee. But please, trust me. I have a plan and if it works you should be able to sting her, but I need to know that you’re willing to listen to me.” A vine hit her yo-yo, and she grunted from the blow. “ _Tell me_ , are you able to or not?”

Ladybug met Queen Bee’s gaze and could almost feel the frustration radiating off of her. But a few tense seconds before Ladybug was about to yell at another superhero, Queen Bee nodded. 

“Yes, Ladybug, I can do it.” To Ladybug, it seemed physically painful for Queen Bee to say those words, but the bee superhero had agreed.

“Good,” said Ladybug. “Go help the others. I need to get ahold of Chat.”

Queen Bee nodded, running over to Carapace, who seemed to be having a bit of trouble fighting off the many vines surrounding him. As much as Ladybug wanted to help her friend, she needed to find Chat Noir.

She could see him with Rena Rouge. The two of them were the closest to the center of Triminator’s plant suit. But though they managed to get some good hits against her, the vines kept growing and they were both getting tired. The two of them fought well together—so well in fact that Ladybug couldn’t see an opening for her to grab Chat without putting all three of them in danger. Rena Rouge and Chat Noir had fallen into the all too familiar rhythm of battle: each one protecting the other, using each other to attack or defend. 

Alya would make a good Ladybug, she thought, and she could feel the self-doubt slipping in. What if this plan was stupid? If it didn’t work, Ladybug wasn’t sure what she could do. She only had a few minutes before she detransformed, too. 

She had to risk it. Triminator would have to know some of the details, but Ladybug knew Chat was smart enough to figure out the missing pieces. 

“Chat Noir!” she called as loudly as she could, gripping the perfume bottle. “On my signal, you’ll need to use your Cataclysm. You’ll know what to use it on when you see it.”

Chat Noir turned to Ladybug and met her gaze. He looked exhausted, and Ladybug knew they didn’t have much more time. 

“Okay, Milady,” he said. “Rena Rouge, cover me!” Rena slipped in front of him, and Triminator turned her attention towards her as Chat cried, “Cataclysm!”

“Your foolish plan won’t work, Ladybug,” she hissed, lunging at Chat and Rena.

Ladybug stepped out into the open, jumping over a vine that tried to knock her off-balance. “Chat Noir, Ryuko, _now_!” She hurled the perfume bottle at Chat, who turned and grabbed it. 

The bottle shattered and the perfume exploded just as Ladybug heard Ryuko yell, “Wind Dragon!” A sudden breeze kicked up, shoving everyone down. The shattered perfume bottle and its contents flew in the wind, scattering all over Triminator’s face and body. She let out a vicious scream, and just as Ladybug hoped, the vines stilled for a moment.

“Queen Bee, now!” she cried. Turning towards Nino and Chloé, she saw her jump onto Carapace’s shield. He vaulted her up as she shouted “Venom!”

Queen Bee landed on the writhing Triminator and used her Venom on her exposed shoulder. In a second, Triminator went from screaming and moving to perfectly still, paralyzed by Queen Bee’s power.

Triminator collapsed against the side of a building, so Ladybug and Rena Rouge jumped up to try to find the akuma before it was too late. The akuma was hidden beneath layers and layers of protective vines, so Queen Bee and Ladybug tore through the plants until they reached Fleur Moreau’s actual body. Rena Rouge reached in and broke the leaf pendant off of her neck.

“Could this be it?” she asked. Before anyone could say anything, Rena Rouge hurled the necklace to the ground. As it shattered, the akuma appeared, fluttering towards the sky.

Ladybug sighed in relief. “No more evildoing for you, little akuma,” she said, opening her yo-yo in the familiar motion. “Time to de-evilize!” She caught the akuma, and out flitted a pure white butterfly. She never realized just how beautiful the delicate butterfly was.

“Bye-bye, little butterfly,” she murmured as she watched it fly away, the sun glinting off of its wings. Embedded in one of Triminator’s vines, Ladybug found a big shard of her Lucky Charm. Pulling it up and tossing it into the air, she shouted, “Miraculous Ladybug!”

It was done.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the response to last chapter was wild! thank you all so much for every single kind thought! I really do appreciate every kudos and comment <3 stay safe everyone, and take care!

It always amazed Ladybug to see how effortlessly the magical ladybugs fixed the ruined city after each and every fight. In an instant, they swept over the ruined buildings, repaved the ravaged streets, and healed cuts and bruises. The vines vanished too, leaving a semiconscious Fleur Moreau lying in the center of where they used to be. 

Ladybug’s earrings beeped, and she realized she only had a few minutes left. Fleur stood up, looking around in a daze before noticing Ladybug.

“Hello, Mme. Moreau,” she said, helping the woman up. “You were akumatized, but we were able to capture the akuma. I suggest you go home and get some rest.”

“I got akumatized?” she asked, her nose wrinkling in disgust. “I'm sorry, Ladybug. Thank you for helping me though.”

Ladybug smiled. “It's my pleasure. Now I have to get going, but go take care of yourself. Being akumatized is exhausting.”

Fleur gave Ladybug a weak smile back. She seemed to have trouble comprehending that she was akumatized, but that was pretty typical for akuma victims so Ladybug wasn't particularly concerned. 

“Thank you, Ladybug.” 

The two parted ways and Ladybug hurried back to the other superheroes. Chat Noir turned toward her and started to say something, but Ladybug cut him off. 

“I don't have much time left before I detransform,” she said, her voice low. “Will you take care of Carapace and Rena Rouge for me? I'll get Ryuko and Queen Bee.”

Chat Noir smiled. “Of course, Bugaboo.” Then he turned around, grabbing the two heroes and steering them to a nearby alleyway.

Ladybug turned to Ryuko and Queen Bee, both awkwardly waiting to the side. “Queen Bee, stay here for a moment. Ryuko, follow me.”

Queen Bee folded her arms in front of her and nodded, saying nothing. Ryuko agreed, and the two of them ran in the opposite direction Chat went, finding a discreet place to detransform. 

“Longg, open sky!” she said before Ladybug could say anything. In a flash, Kagami detransformed, Longg floating next to her. Kagami smiled at the kwami and patted his head. “Thank you very much, Longg. It was lovely working with you again.”

As she watched the interaction, Ladybug marveled at how much she used to dislike Kagami. Seeing how well she and Longg got along made Ladybug smile, and she almost felt bad watching Longg vanish when Kagami gave her choker back to Ladybug.

“Thank you, Kagami,” said Ladybug, a warm smile on her face. “I really needed your help.”

Kagami’s smile faded and Ladybug felt dread drowning her body in an instant. But as Ladybug tried to think of something to say or ask what was wrong, Kagami reached out and hugged Ladybug. 

Ladybug froze for a moment before wrapping her arms around Kagami, who whispered, “I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried about you.”

Ladybug could feel her lip tremble, and she buried her face into Kagami’s fresh-smelling hair (how did her hair still smell nice after an akuma?) before she could realize that Ladybug was moments away from crying. 

A moment later, they pulled away. Ladybug smiled and brushed at her teary eyes in a way she hoped was discreet. “Thanks,” she said, her voice catching. “That...that means a lot, Kagami.” Her earrings beeped.

“You should go,” Kagami said. “Goodbye, Ladybug.”

“Goodbye, Kagami,” she said, waving at her. Knowing that Kagami paid attention, that she was _worried_ about Ladybug, made her feel lighter in a way she couldn't quite explain. But she was smiling as she made her way back to Chloé and pulled her back to the alley.

“Thank you for helping me, Queen Bee,” she said, hoping she sounded magnanimous. She was still upset at Chloé for every awful thing she did to her, even if she _did_ agree to help. “I'm going to need your Miraculous now.”

Almost reflexively, Queen Bee took a step back, her fingers grazing the comb in her hair. Ladybug reached toward her yo-yo. Did she need to take it by force? Why the hell did she decide to trust _Chloé Bourgeois?_ What if she—

But Chloé Bourgeois, watching Ladybug’s reaction with wide eyes, went still and murmured, “Buzz off, Pollen.”

A detransformed Chloé stood there, Pollen floating nearby. A pensive, solemn expression on her face, Chloé reached for the comb and slipped it out of her hair, handing it back to Ladybug. 

Ladybug fought the urge to sigh in relief as she accepted the Bee Miraculous and put it away. But just as she politely nodded to Chloé and turned away to detransform and find Adrien, Chloé said, “Wait, Ladybug, I'm sorry.”

That caught her attention. She turned back to Chloé and frowned slightly. “Sorry?”

Chloé sighed. “I…I just…Look, you're a good Ladybug. I don't…I don't think I can be Ladybug.” She ran a hand through her hair, her fingers carding through the spot where the Bee Miraculous usually sat. Chloé gritted her teeth and Ladybug almost laughed at how painful it looked for Chloé to apologize. “I was watching you come up with a plan on the fly, and I realized that I couldn’t do that, not like you could. And you weren't even at your full strength. So, uh, I'm sorry. I wasn't good to you and I didn't realize how hard you have it as a superhero, so I'm sorry for making that worse.” Chloé paused for a moment before adding, as an afterthought, “You're also fit enough to be a superhero. So I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't.” She let out a rueful laugh. “I was being ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.”

Ladybug was stunned into silence. Chloé Bourgeois... _apologized_? To _her_? And she was being _honest_? Ladybug’s mind went blank as she tried to come up with a response. 

After a few false starts, Ladybug settled on “Thank you, Chloé. That's good to hear.” Both of them were well aware that this wasn't forgiveness, but as Chloé Bourgeois turned around to make her way home, they both knew something had changed. 

In a flash, Tikki appeared next to her and Marinette transformed back into her normal clothes. Wordlessly, Marinette handed Tikki a chocolate macaron, her mind still reeling.

“Did…did that really happen, Tikki?” she asked, still in disbelief. 

“If you're asking if Chloé apologized to you,” Tikki said in between bites, “then yes, she did.”

Marinette slumped into the wall, sliding down into a seated position. “This was the longest day ever, Tikki,” she said, laughing to herself. “And just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, _Chloé Bourgeois_ apologizes to _me_.” 

“A lot of crazy things happened today,” Tikki pointed out, swallowing the last bits of chocolate cream. “You were hospitalized, you told your parents the truth about being Ladybug, you and Adrien found out each other’s identities, and he even kissed you.”

Marinette gasped. “I completely forgot!” She grabbed Tikki and pulled her into a hug. “Adrien Agreste _kissed_ me!”

“You know, you should probably go find him and make sure he's okay,” Tikki said, muffled against Marinette's shoulder. 

Marinette sat bolt upright, letting go of Tikki. “You're right. I need to make sure he's okay, and Nino and Alya.” Then she wilted. “What if it was just a heat of the moment thing? What if he's actually disappointed that I'm Ladybug?”

“Of _course_ he isn't, Marinette, think about what you're saying! You're Ladybug, and Adrien loves Ladybug, so why would he be disappointed?”

Marinette stood up and opened her purse for Tikki to hide. “You're right, Tikki, I'm just being silly. Let's go find Adrien.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you're all having a MIRACULOUS start to your week! haha i've used that joke too many times by this point but still, i hope it's true for you! 
> 
> i love how genuinely kind marinette can be in the show (even if lately she hasn't really been showing it...) and one thing i wish we could see more in the series is the aftermath of an akuma attack! enjoy me projecting my love of plants onto fictional characters :))

Marinette knew she would never get tired of walking through town after an akuma. Maybe it was just the relief from not being constantly on guard, but everything always felt more peaceful, more relaxed. The white clouds streaking through the bright sky made her smile, and her fellow Parisians creeping back outdoors after realizing the akuma was gone was always a happy sight.

“Now where could Adrien be?” she murmured, half to herself and half to Tikki. She scanned the crowds for any blonde heads or black kwamis, but though she couldn't see any sign of him. However, as she made her way down the street, she caught sight of two other friendly faces.

Nino and Alya were holding hands and lightly chatting with each other when Marinette waved at them. Their eyes lit up and Marinette ran over, throwing her arms around them.

“I'm so glad you're okay!” she cried, hugging the two of them. 

Alya squeezed Marinette back. “I'm glad you're okay too! That was some akuma, wasn't it?”

They pulled back, and Marinette took a closer look at her friends. Alya had a loose strand of hair in her face that Marinette pushed behind her ear, hoping to get a subtle look at whether her wounds healed. Thankfully the cut on her face from the fight seemed to have healed, although both she and Nino did look tired, their posture a little more slouched than usual and each step dragging slightly.

“It really was!” she said. “Where did you two end up hiding during the fight?” Marinette fought back a grin, hoping they wouldn't notice her messing with them a little.

Alya and Nino exchanged a quick glance that Marinette recognized as her own panicked expression when trying to come up with an excuse on the fly, but Nino said, “We ended up camping out at the school to wait out the akuma. Dude, that akuma got wicked close to us, didn't it Alya?”

Jumping on Nino’s excuse, Alya nodded. “It was crazy! We saw Ladybug and Chat Noir, as well as a couple of their friends!”

“Oh yeah!” Marinette pointed out, still playing ignorant. “Rena Rouge and Carapace looked so cool! As well as the others, of course.” 

Nino and Alya smiled at the indirect praise, but Marinette was impressed by how well they were keeping their cool. Nino said, “They're all super powerful! We actually ran into Chat Noir back there,” he said, gesturing behind him and Alya. “You might be able to catch him there.”

Nino told her everything she needed! But Marinette knew she had to keep her story straight, so she said, “Did either of you see Adrien by any chance? He was with me when the akuma started attacking but we got separated.”

Both of them shook their heads. Marinette smiled. “Thank you! Maybe I'll go find Chat Noir and see if he knows.”

Alya smiled and winked at her. “Text me later! I expect details, girl.”

Marinette laughed and nodded. “If I don't make a total fool of myself, at least!” 

That got a chuckle out of them, and as they waved goodbye Marinette started walking in the general direction Nino pointed in.

As she ambled down the street, looking for signs of Adrien, a warm floral scent filled the air and she realized she was next to the plant nursery. Fleur Moreau was watering some droopy-looking plants, and Marinette couldn't help noticing how wilted Fleur looked herself. She could imagine how exhausting, how _embarrassing_ it was to be an akuma victim. Pity flooded through Marinette. Maybe she could say something to lift her spirits.

Forgetting Adrien for a moment, Marinette walked towards the gardener and admired the plants, organized into little rows of flowers and fruit and vegetable plants in pots. They looked happy, well-cared for. She picked up one pot, a small vine snaking up a wooden pole. The plant was dotted with bright white flowers with thin long petals that made them look like stars. The bright floral smells belied a familiar woodsy scent that surrounded her.

“It's star jasmine. This one is native to East and Southeast Asia,” said a voice behind her.

Marinette started, almost dropping the plant. She turned around to find Fleur Moreau standing beside her. Fleur tucked a piece of her curly hair behind her ear. 

Was she…bashful? Marinette gave Fleur a warm smile. “Thank you for teaching me that. These plants look really happy. You must take good care of them.”

The ghost of a smile appeared on Fleur's face, though it vanished just as quickly. “I didn't do a good enough job. That…that's why I got akumatized. I found out I killed one of my gardenias and I got upset.” She looked away, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. “I shouldn't have gotten so upset. It was just a plant.”

“It's not your fault, though,” Marinette pointed out. She fumbled for a second before settling on a comforting pat on the shoulder. “It was Hawk Moth. And Ladybug and Chat Noir were able to fix everything up as well. Besides, look at all of these gorgeous plants. You must be doing something right. Which one is this?” She pointed to another plant with five or six flowers peeking out. The ruffled petals were a rich, warm pink, surrounding the golden yellow center peeking out from the middle. 

Fleur perked up at that, and Marinette hid her smile as she realized Fleur was proud of these plants. “Those are peonies. Those ones are actually Chinese peonies. Did you know they symbolize love, romance, and good luck?”

A Chinese flower that symbolized, romance, and good luck? This was the perfect flower for Ladybug! 

“It looks beautiful,” she said. “I'm Chinese too, and it looks like it could be my lucky charm.”

Fleur gave Marinette a closer look before seeming to decide something. She disappeared for a moment, but before Marinette’s mind could wander or start to feel self-conscious, Fleur returned with two fully-bloomed peony cuttings. Wordlessly, she handed them to Marinette, who accepted them with surprise.

“Thank you,” she said, tracing the delicate petals with her finger. “How much do they cost?”

Fleur shook her head. “Nothing. You made me feel better, so I thought I'd give you something. You could keep them, maybe press and preserve them.”

Marinette smiled. “Thank you so much.” Fleur seemed so sweet, and she managed to brighten Marinette’s evening even more. “It was lovely meeting you.”

Fleur smiled back, a broad genuine smile for the first time that day, and Marinette knew she accomplished her little mission. “Thank you. Enjoy the flowers.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! my apologies for the delay-i had midterms last week so i was kind of swamped! i might have a few more delays but don't worry, i've come too far to abandon this story and i've already planned the rest of it out so it just depends on when i can spare the time to actually write it out :D take care everyone and if you're drowning in work like i am then i'm sending you an extra hug <3

Holding the flowers in a death grip out of fear of dropping them, Marinette left the plant nursery and continued down the street. Though she checked every side street and alleyway, she couldn't find Adrien or Plagg. The bustle of the city had started dying down a little, just enough for her to make out the familiar raspy voice of a magical little cat.

Marinette stopped and started listening. It was faint, but there was no denying she could hear Plagg’s voice.

“But Adrien, you _know_ that's not true,” he said, irritation edging his voice. 

Marinette stifled a smile. That was the Plagg she knew and loved. She figured they must be hiding in the next alleyway, just a little further. 

“I know, Plagg, it just—Marinette!” Adrien jumped just as Marinette glanced into the alley, scaring both of them. Tikki flew out of Marinette’s purse, shoving Plagg. 

“You scared us! And you were so loud I could hear you a block away, Plagg.”

Marinette laughed as Plagg replied, “It's a shame that my voice is so beautiful. You know you like it, Tikki.”

Adrien started laughing too. “Plagg, stop flirting!”

Plagg whipped around. “No I'm not!” he cried just as Tikki said, “Plagg, you're _flirting with me?_ ”

Chuckling, Marinette said, “Maybe you two should go talk a bit. Make sure to be discreet though, okay?”

Tikki and Plagg nodded, glaring at each other before flying up into the clouds to debate to their hearts’ content (did kwamis have hearts?) while Adrien and Marinette stayed.

Marinette laughed again, though it was more nervous this time. “They're cute, aren't they?”

Adrien nodded. “I think they're meant to be,” he said, cracking a faint smile. His face turned red and he looked away, making Marinette blush herself. Before she could say anything, however, Adrien said, “Are those…flowers?”

Marinette had forgotten about them, but soon after became aware of her sore fingertips. She lifted the peonies towards her face and noticed she had imprints of the stems on her thumb and forefinger.

“Chinese peonies,” she said. “I got them as a gift from Fleur Moreau, for making her smile.” An idea bloomed in her mind and Marinette smiled. “Did you know that these flowers represent love, romance, and good luck?”

A slow smile creeped onto Adrien’s face. “You mean like a...lucky charm?”

Marinette beamed and handed him one of the peonies. “You keep this one. Then we'll be matching.” 

Adrien smiled, touching the petals before opening his arms for a hug that Marinette did not hesitate to go into.

Honestly, Marinette was surprised she didn't embarrass herself even more. Her mind was racing—Adrien’s cologne, his warm body, the lithe catlike muscles in his back tensing under her hands, his arms—but she managed to control herself and not even squeak. 

“I love it,” he said as they pulled back, though not quite letting go of each other. “Thank you, Milady.”

Marinette blushed even more at that, positive that her face was bright red now. But she said nothing, instead taking in Adrien’s appearance. He looked tired, more drained than usual, but the Miraculous Ladybug seemed to heal his cuts and bruises. After briefly wondering if it was a bad idea, she lightly traced his forehead, pushing back his blonde hair as if checking for any other injuries.

Adrien closed his eyes at her touch, but once she let go he opened them and smiled. “I'm okay, Marinette, I promise.” His smile faded. “How about you?”

Marinette sighed. “A little tired, I guess. Today was a crazy day.”

Adrien laughed. “It really was! I can't believe everything that happened, honestly.” 

Marinette giggled. “You're Chat Noir.”

“And you're Ladybug.” Marinette's heart leapt before immediately sinking when Adrien lowered his gaze. Was he disappointed? But just before she began to ask, he added. “Are you disappointed? I know I asked already, it's just—”

“No! Are you stupid?” Marinette interrupted before clapping her hands over her mouth and turning bright red. “No no no, I'm sorry! You're not stupid, I just…I mean…” She took a deep breath in. Then out. When she opened her eyes she saw Adrien watching her, a tender look in his eyes, and she realized he recognized that she was doing what he taught her. 

Marinette smiled. “I've been in love with you all this time, Adrien. Of course I'm happy.”

Silence filled the alleyway as they both realized this was the first time Marinette confessed. Marinette couldn't draw her gaze away from his hypnotic green eyes, the gentle smile gracing his soft lips. She knew what she wanted to do, and before she could even think to stop herself she grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him into a kiss. Heat crescendoed in her chest along with her racing heart, but as she drank in Adrien’s scent she couldn't imagine anything more right. 

Marinette felt Adrien tense against her before relaxing into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her, digging his hands into her waist, kissing her back with a fire that surprised her. She stepped closer, but then the thought came unbidden into her mind. Could he feel how big she was?

Adrien pulled back and Marinette realized she had gone still. “Is everything okay?” he asked, adding with a smile, “That was amazing.”

Marinette smiled, but her face heated up. What was wrong with her? Here she was kissing the love of her life and she couldn't stop thinking about her own insecurities for just a few minutes. 

“I'm sorry, it's just…Why me? I'm not even that pretty.” She knew she sounded whiny, complaining about her appearance, but she couldn't help asking.

Adrien’s face melted and Marinette cursed herself for ruining the moment and messing everything up, but Adrien surprised her by reaching out and enveloping her in a hug. 

“You're beautiful, Marinette. I know you don't always believe that, but I promise it's true.” Adrien grinned against Marinette’s hair. “I could go into more detail but maybe we should save that for a little later,” he joked. “But in all seriousness, Milady, you're beautiful and I'm so lucky to have you.”

“Do you think they're done yet?” Plagg drawled just as Tikki shushed him.

“Let them finish! It's so romantic!” she cried.

Marinette and Adrien pulled apart, staring at the kwamis before glancing at each other and bursting out laughing. Tikki and Plagg looked confused for a moment before being swept up in the laughter, and soon Marinette's stomach hurt from laughing so hard. She had no idea what was so funny, but seeing Plagg and Tikki and Adrien’s beautiful, contagious smile, made her laugh all the more. 

A few minutes later, too tired to laugh anymore, Adrien and Marinette smiled at each other before Adrien pulled out his phone and winced. 

“It's getting a little late,” he said. “Here, can I walk you home?”

Marinette smiled. “Thank you, but I don't want to bother you.”

“It's not a bother at all,” he insisted.

“Can I at least invite you to dinner?”

Adrien hesitated, and Marinette knew it was because of his father. But Adrien pulled out his phone. “Let me text Nathalie,” he said, typing furiously. Marinette hoped he wasn't promising anything crazy to Nathalie just for her. But a minute or two later Adrien’s phone chimed and a grin spread across his face.

“She said yes!” he said, hugging Marinette. “Thank you, Marinette.”

Marinette smiled. “Of course! Now let's go, _chaton._ ”

“Okay, Bugaboo.” Adrien reached for Marinette's hand, intertwining their fingers, and Marinette hoped her palms weren't sweaty before deciding at this point it didn't really matter. “Is this okay?” he asked.

Marinette gave an eager nod. “Of course it is.” She started walking, pulling Adrien along before glancing back at him. “Let's go!”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh we're almost there! honestly i'm very impressed that i managed to finish this on time. i hope you're all doing well, and i hope that all you in school who take midterms (or really, if you have any tests/essays/big assignments in general) managed to get through those alright and maybe even ace them! take care and i hope you enjoy <3

“You know, Chloé apologized to me,” said Marinette. She and Adrien had been walking together, holding hands (ahhh!) and just chatting, but Marinette couldn't stop thinking about Chloé Bourgeois. 

Adrien stilled, letting go of Marinette. Marinette stopped and turned around, hoping she didn't say anything to offend him.

“She apologized to you?” he asked, eyebrows knitted together.

“Yeah,” Marinette responded, more words rushing out. “I know you two are friends and everything and I don't want to be mean or anything, it's just—”

“You don't need to apologize, Marinette,” Adrien said, taking her hand again. “Chloé and I may have been friends for a long time, but what she did to you wasn't okay. I can appreciate Chloé’s impact on my life and still know that she needs to work on herself a little more.” Adrien gave Marinette an insistent look. “I mean it, okay? Don't apologize.”

A small smile appeared on Marinette’s face. “Thanks, Adrien. I guess I just feel conflicted about everything. I mean, I should be glad that Chloé apologized, and I _am_ , it's just…I don't know if I can forgive her. I don't know what I feel, to be honest.”

Adrien paused for a moment, thinking, before asking, “Do you need to forgive her? At least, right now?”

Marinette frowned. “What do you mean?”

Adrien scratched at the nape of his neck in a movement Marinette recognized as his nervous habit. How had she never noticed that Chat did the same thing? 

“I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, Marinette. It's just that I don't think it's wrong for you to feel like Chloé needs to do more to earn your forgiveness. You don't owe it to her. Do you think that forgiving her would make you feel better right now? Because if so then maybe you can try, but if you don't think so then what's the rush in forgiving her?”

As she listened to Adrien, Marinette felt something in the depths of her stomach settle. Instead of the familiar feeling of something hard coalescing in the pit of her stomach, she felt it soften, melting into something warmer, gentler. Maybe he was right.

“Thank you, Adrien,” she said. “That does make me feel better,” she admitted, squeezing his hand. “You're right, I don't have to magically forgive her. The apology _did_ help a lot, but it'll take some time. I hope that this means she's changing for the better, though.”

Adrien smiled. “I hope so too.” He hesitated for a moment before adding, “Also, are you going to see a psychologist?” 

Marinette's heart pulsed in her chest even though she didn't know why. Adrien, seeming to sense her anxious reaction, quickly added, “You don't have to tell me. I'm sorry, that was an invasive question.”

Marinette took a deep breath in. Then out. She looked at Adrien, at his flushed cheeks and anxious expression, and smiled. She didn't need to be afraid of talking to him. He was her partner, her ally and friend. 

“You're one of my best friends, even if I didn't know that until today.” Marinette laced her free hand in Adrien’s and held both his hands close to her. “I promise that I'm going to get help.” She hesitated, looking down at their intertwined fingers. “It's just…the only thing is that I can't tell them the truth about my identity. What if they get akumatized?”

Adrien's eyes widened. “I hadn't thought about that.” He tilted his head, staring off into space before adding, “I suppose you don't have to tell them. But still, your parents know our identities. Maybe if you find the right person, they can know eventually. So focus on finding them first.”

Marinette sighed. “You're right. I know I'm just overthinking things.”

Adrien smiled. “Well, thinking is one of Ladybug’s specialities. Don't be so hard on yourself.”

Marinette looked up at Adrien. The glowing amber of the setting sun framed his beautiful face and in that moment she hoped she'd never get tired of looking at him. “Thank you,” she murmured as they started walking again.

“The sunset is really beautiful tonight,” Adrien pointed out as they turned the corner, just a few minutes away from the _Boulangerie Patisserie._

Marinette turned to see what he was looking at, and she felt awash in a feeling of warm comfort that she couldn't quite place. 

“It's beautiful,” she said, her voice hushed. “It reminds me of something, but I'm not sure what.”

“It reminds me of evening patrols,” said Adrien, a contented smile spreading across his face. “Paris is settling down and the night is cool and it's just us, sitting on a rooftop and talking.”

Marinette smiled. So that was where the comforting feeling came from. Sunsets meant patrols with Chat, evenings with Tikki, spending time with Alya or Nino or Adrien. Sunsets were quiet, gentle, and hopeful. 

“Those evenings were nice,” she said, reminiscing. “Sometimes we would just sit down and do our schoolwork. I'd help you with science and you would help me with English.”

“Yeah!” he agreed. “And I would teach you Chinese—”

“And I'd teach you all the words your tutor would never tell you!” she finished. They broke out laughing.

“I've already said this, but I'm really happy it's you, Adrien.”

Adrien squeezed her hand. “Me too, Bugaboo.”

They ambled towards Marinette's home when Adrien stopped, just outside the store.

Marinette frowned. “Are you okay, Adrien?” His face looked pale, and he was gripping her hand tightly in his.

“What if they don't like me?” he asked, his voice hushed.

Marinette grinned. “If my father can get over Chat Noir faux-breaking-my-heart, he can do anything,” she joked, hoping to ease his nerves.

Adrien laughed, but it sounded forced. “Oh yeah, I did ‘break’ your heart, didn't I?”

Marinette gave him a closer look. “They already adore you, Adrien, I promise. And besides, who couldn't love you? Short of being an ax murderer I doubt there's anything you could do to change that.”

Adrien took a deep breath in, then out. “I hope you're right.”

“I know I'm right.” Marinette wrapped her arm around Adrien. “Now let's go.”

Hand-in-hand, Marinette and Adrien walked up to the _Boulangerie Patisserie_ and opened the door.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh we're almost here!! this chapter is the last one in the present timeline in the story, and then there will be an epilogue before this arc of mari's journey comes to a close ;')
> 
> gosh, i started this story in June and now almost half a year later it's coming to a close! there's so much more i want to say but i'll save it for the final chapter so i can contain my sappiness lol. thank you all so much for coming on this journey and i love and appreciate every single one of you 💜

“YOU'RE BOTH OKAY!” cried M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng at the same time, almost vaulting themselves past the rows of stale pastries to hug Marinette and Adrien. They swooped the two superheroes into a massive embrace. Marinette buried herself into her father’s shirt, the smell of bread dough lingering on his arms. After a moment, she glanced at Adrien. His eyes were closed and the arm that wasn't around Marinette was wrapped around Mme. Cheng. Not for the first time, Marinette wondered when Gabriel last hugged Adrien.

“Where are the little mouse bugs?” asked Mme. Cheng. lifting her head to look around for them. Tikki and Plagg emerged from their hiding spots, and Mme. Cheng said, “Come over here! Thank you for keeping the two of them safe.”

The hug broke apart and Marinette faced her mother, a stern look on the latter's face. “Am I going to have to ground you, young lady? Not even a text message!”

Marinette cringed. “I'm sorry, Maman, I forgot. But I'll remember next time!”

“Darling, give her a break,” said M. Dupain. “She _did_ just save Paris.” He beamed at Marinette and Adrien. “ I'm so _proud_ of you two. My little baby and her boyfriend are superheroes!”

“ _Boyfriend?!_ ” Marinette’s eyes widened. “How—How did you—”

M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng exchanged a knowing look. “Parents know everything, sweetheart,” she said before turning to Adrien. “Now, dear, you're obviously staying for dinner so is there anything in particular you'd like?”

Adrien looked absolutely mind-boggled. It took him a few seconds to respond with, “Anything sounds lovely.” 

How often were people this affectionate with him? Marinette wondered. She took Adrien's hand and said, “Don't scare him away, Maman and Papa.”

M. Dupain laughed. “Scare him away? He's already been through all of this, as Chat Noir.”

Adrien froze while Marinette fought the urge to laugh. Ladybug and Chat Noir’s relationship was certainly more complicated than either of them expected. In an effort to change the subject and spare Adrien some embarrassment, Marinette asked, “So what's for dinner?”

“I made bouillabaisse!” exclaimed M. Dupain. “Marinette, I think I'm on a roll with all these soups! Your mother disagrees but I think we should rename the shop. _Boulangerie Patisserie_ doesn’t do justice to my soup-making abilities.”

Adrien chuckled. “I'm not as good a business owner as Mme. Cheng but if your soup is a fraction as delicious as it sounds then I think you'll have a market for it. Besides, it takes a lot of energy to run around Paris all day.”

“Yes, yes, you both must be starving!” Mme. Cheng ushered everyone to the back and practically forced Marinette and Adrien into their seats before setting the table and ladling fragrant soup into their bowls. The warm aromatics made her mouth water, but she couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious. Marinette stirred her soup, watching her parents calmly eating. She glanced at Adrien, who looked a few seconds away from crying in happiness as he wolfed down his bowl. He was so cute. 

Marinette turned back to her soup. She took a careful spoonful into her mouth and almost melted. The savory soup was _delicious._ A fresh, herbal taste from all the seasonings belied the richer, heartier seafood. Marinette never considered herself a seafood person but she wasn't surprised that her parents were the ones who managed to call that into question. She took another careful sip and tried to ignore the toxic part of her brain questioning her choice in food.

“Do you like it?” asked M. Dupain, anxiously waiting for their response. 

Adrien laughed and gestured to his already empty bowl. “It's amazing, _Monsieur_. I've already finished.”

M. Dupain got up and ladled another serving into Adrien’s bowl. “You've been running around all day. Have another bowl!”

As Adrien eyed the soup with a hungry look, he said, “It's so nice that you all eat together as a family! My father can be so busy that sometimes dinner is a little lonely.”

The Dupain-Chengs went still. Marinette knew that already. She _knew_ that Adrien was lonely, that M. Agreste was very distant, and yet hearing Adrien say that in such a casual tone broke her heart. She couldn't help but think about all the times she refused meals with her parents, how lonely it was being the only one at the dining table, in her room. But that was Adrien’s every day, and it wasn’t even his choice. 

She glanced back at Adrien, whose eyes widened. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't h—”

“Would you like to come over more often?” asked Mme. Cheng. “My husband and I both love to cook and bake, obviously, but usually Marinette is our only regular taste-tester. We'd love to have you stop by. Our only condition is that you have to try our new recipes and give us feedback.”

Adrien lit up, standing straight in his seat. “Really?”

Marinette smiled and reached over to touch his hand. “Of course.”

Adrien had the biggest grin on his face as he and Marinette's parents launched into an epic debate about the best sweet and savory dishes out there. Marinette half-listened as she ate her soup, her mind wandering. 

She felt stupid for not having thought about it before—of _course_ food was social. Her parents engaging in conversation with the regulars as they bagged pastries, talking over meals, chatting with other people about food. Food wasn't just something to make people gain weight, or just some fuel for the body.

She must have been hurting her loved ones in other ways besides refusing to eat with them. 

Marinette snapped out of her thoughts just as M. Dupain decided it was time for dessert. He disappeared into the back before coming out bearing a chocolate _gateau._ The cake looked gorgeous, creamy icing and fresh fruits covering what Marinette was sure was a moist, decadent cake rich with chocolate.

“We wanted to celebrate! You both are safe, Paris is alright, and you're both superheroes!”

Marinette felt the familiar stab of panic at the thought of eating that cake. It looked delicious, but would she regret it? What if she binged?

_No._ Marinette resolved to eat a small slice of _gateau_ and enjoy herself. Her parents and Adrien cut themselves hefty slices, but nobody commented on the thin slice Marinette served herself. In fact, they all looked proud of her, with a fond look in their eyes. 

She loved them.

The _gateau_ was pretty good too. Marinette cleaned her plate and congratulated herself for finishing. She declined a second slice but nibbled at some of the cut strawberries garnishing the cake while the rest of them took more helpings. 

Soon, too soon, empty plates littered the table and everyone had the familiar glazed-over expression of having finished a good meal, satisfied and sleepy. After cleaning up together and washing the dishes, Adrien said, “I think it's time for me to go. Thank you so much for this!”

M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng hugged him. “You're welcome any time.” 

He turned to Marinette. “Goodnight, Milady.”

She giggled. “Goodnight, _chaton_.” Marinette was about to escort him out the front door before asking, “Would it be faster to go as Chat?”

Adrien paused for a moment. “You're right. Can I leave from your balcony?”

Marinette nodded. “Follow me!” She climbed up to her room, hearing a “Claws out!” behind her. Once she and Chat Noir made it to her room, they went outside to the balcony.

“Do you want Ladybug to follow you?” she offered.

Chat Noir smiled. “I'm alright. You should rest.” He reached out and hugged Marinette. “I love you.”

Marinette wrapped her arms around Chat. “I love you too, Adrien. Be safe.”

Chat let go and gave a joking salute before leaping off of the balcony and into the night. 

Tikki flew up next to Marinette and smiled. “You look happy.”

Marinette closed her eyes. “Adrien said he _loved_ me, Tikki,” she breathed, not wanting to disturb the moment. The night air was cool and still, and she could almost feel Adrien’s arms around her. “Am I dreaming?”

“I can pinch you if you’d like,” Tikki offered.

Marinette laughed and shook her head. “No thank you.” 

A sharp buzzing from Marinette’s pocket disturbed the hazy night. She pulled her phone out to see a string of text messages from Alya a short while ago. 

_Hey!  
You haven't told me about Adrien yet  
I need details  
Tell me EVERYTHING  
I mean it!  
Hopefully I'm not blowing up your phone too much  
I just NEED TO KNOW_

Marinette giggled at Alya’s enthusiasm and texted back, _sorry i was eating dinner with my parents and adrien. can you call now?_

A few seconds later:

_CALL. ME._

Marinette smiled and headed inside to collapse on the bed in a fit of grins and giggles. She'd have to be a little discreet about Ladybug, but she was excited to tell Alya about the rest. She called her best friend, who picked up on the first ring.

“Hey Alya! I know, I can't believe it either! Honestly today was such a long day, but so many crazy things happened. You remember Adrien and I getting separated from you and Nino, right? Well after that, we…”


	25. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')

“Pound it!” Chat Noir and Ladybug fist-bumped before her earrings and his ring started beeping. 

“We'd better get going,” said Ladybug, helping the akuma victim up. The victim was an elderly gentleman Ladybug faintly recognized. He looked around for a bit in a daze before standing up and toddling off to do whatever he was planning on before getting akumatized. 

“You're right, Bugaboo,” said Chat, flashing his classic grin. He extended his hand, which Ladybug took with a sly smile before pulling him towards her instead, a surprised Chat laughing as he wrapped his arms around her. She grabbed hold of him and flung her yo-yo, launching them into the sky together. 

The superheroes landed on the gravel-covered rooftop with ease, the movement familiar from months of practice. As they brushed themselves off and hopped down into the nearby alleyway, Chat grinned at Ladybug.

“You caught me by surprise, Milady.”

“You know I'm good at that, _chaton._ Besides, you carried me last time! I was just returning the favor,” she insisted.

Her earrings and his ring beeped again, a frantic warning to their wearers that they were about to detransform. Ladybug closed her eyes and felt the bodysuit melt away, her civilian clothes returning to her. 

Marinette opened her eyes to see Tikki and Plagg flying around and Adrien across her. She would never get used to seeing him, seeing his beautiful face, his hair slick with sweat and the tired but exhilarated look in his gorgeous green eyes after every battle. 

She smiled at him. “That was fun.”

He nodded. “Good job with that Lucky Charm! I'm still impressed you managed to use a fire extinguisher and some saran wrap the way you did.”

“Honestly, so am I! But it was thanks to your well-timed Cataclysm that my plan managed to work out. I—” Marinette's phone buzzed, so she reached into her purse, pulling out her phone and a chocolate chip cookie for Tikki, who devoured it as Adrien produced some Camembert for Plagg. She turned on her phone to see a calendar alert, a reminder that her therapy appointment started in fifteen minutes.

“I have therapy soon,” she told Adrien. “I'm impressed we finished the battle on time! I wouldn't want to be late.”

Adrien moved towards her and took her hand. “Can I walk you there?”

Marinette giggled. “Of course, _chaton._ ” She squeezed his hand and they made their way into the Parisian streets.

Being the girlfriend of a famous model was a little unnerving, but thankfully after a few weeks the hype around Marinette began to die down. Even so, Marinette spotted a few jealous onlookers as they made their way to Marinette's therapist’s office. The vicious eyes around her used to bother her, but Marinette trusted Adrien and her other loved ones. Slowly but surely, she was learning to trust herself too. 

With several minutes to spare, they made it to the outside of the building. Adrien's phone rang, and he picked it up. 

“ _Bonjour._ Oh, hi Nathalie. I'm with Marinette. I'll go to fencing practice in a bit, alright? _Merci._ ” He hung up and turned off his phone. “I have to get going. Are you alright?”

Marinette nodded. “Thank you, Adrien.”

Adrien smiled, cupping the side of her face and leaning in for a kiss. Marinette wrapped her arms around him, feeling his smile against her and taking in the spicy scent of his new cologne. 

They pulled apart and waved goodbye as Marinette headed inside and Adrien walked away. She walked up the flight of stairs and signed in at the receptionist’s desk before entering the waiting room with a father and a young girl, a middle-aged woman and a boy a few years older than her. The only empty seat was next to the young girl, so she sat down next to her. She was a little early, so she pulled out her phone to see that Alya and her mother just texted.

_Alya: Don't forget you have therapy soon! And girl, we really need to work on that project for Bustier. Are you free this evening?_

Marinette smiled at her best friend’s reminder, writing back: _i’m already here and waiting to get called in! and this evening works. why did bustier give us so much homework this week??_

_I KNOW!! But you've heard me complain enough. See you this evening and have fun in therapy!_

Marinette smiled and looked at the text from her mom: a selfie of her parents bearing a tray of freshly baked madeleines. Marinette could almost smell the fresh, sweet scent through the phone screen.

_save one for me!!_ she texted back before plugging in her earbuds and finding a livestream of the news.

“Don't be bemused, it's just the news! I'm Nadja Chamack, and today we are talking about Ladybug’s press conference yesterday. I can speak for all of us here that we are so proud of Ladybug for standing up for herself. We know there was a bit of a controversy with our network, so we would like to make it clear that we have and will let go of any of our members who choose to shame public figures and especially superheroes like Ladybug. Now, to the press conference.”

Nadja disappeared from screen and Marinette started watching the speech she gave earlier, which she could almost recite by heart: “I would like to make it clear that I am receiving the support I need to continue to support all of Paris. However, I would like to address something that had a huge impact on my life: all of you. I value and care about Paris and all of its people so much. I know that it's tough dealing with akumas—I'm one of the people fighting them for you. I'm still a person, just like you, even though I'm a public figure. Shaming and hurting people is never okay, whether they're in the spotlight or your everyday life.”

Marinette smiled to herself. She had spent days drafting that speech, running it by her parents and Adrien so many times that they must have learned it as well as she did. She remembered social media blowing up, with hashtags like _#IStandWithLadybug_ trending. People were so fickle sometimes, but if it meant they were starting to recognize that she was human too, then she could accept that.

“I'm one of you. When I'm not in my superhero outfit I'm an ordinary civilian. Your superheroes can be any of the people in your life,” Ladybug continued. “Treat everyone with honor and compassion, because you'll never know who's going to be your hero next. Thank you.”

Nadja Chamack popped on the screen next to a photograph of Ladybug at the press conference. She started to say something that Marinette didn't quite catch because the little girl she noticed earlier crept towards her and started watching over Marinette’s shoulder.

Marinette glanced at her. She couldn't be older than ten, but she was fixated on Ladybug. 

“Are you watching Ladybug’s talk? Can I watch?” she asked, running a hand through her hair.

“Don't bother her, Sylvie, it's impolite,” chastised her father. He turned to Marinette. “Sorry about that, she just really loves Ladybug.”

Out of the corner of her eye Marinette watched Sylvie shrink on herself, almost deflating with disappointment. Marinette smiled at the father, and then at Sylvie. 

“It's not a problem at all, _Monsieur_. She can watch with me if she likes.” Sylvie perked up and Marinette chuckled. “I take it you like Ladybug, huh?” She offered one of her earbuds to the girl and rewound the livestream back to Ladybug’s speech.

Sylvie beamed, her eyes focused on the superhero. “I _love_ Ladybug! She's so beautiful and smart and kind and I wish I could be just like her!”

_Oh._ Marinette's heart melted, and she fought the urge to give the girl a hug right there. “Well,” she said, clearing her throat to avoid sounding emotional, “I'm sure Ladybug would be honored to have someone like you looking up to her. Have you seen her speech?”

“Yeah!” Sylvie gave an eager nod. “I watched it yesterday with Maman and Papa. It made me so sad that people were being bullies to Ladybug but seeing her talk to all of them made me so happy. If Ladybug can fight back at her bullies, then maybe I can too.”

_Crap._ Marinette could feel her eyes welling up, and she blinked furiously, taking a deep breath to try to maintain her composure. This little girl was inspired by Ladybug, by _her_ , to fight back at her own bullies. In this moment, all of the pain and fear and sadness of the past months meant something. If she could make little girls like Sylvie feel seen, then everything she went through was _for_ something. 

Marinette ruffled the girl's hair. “You definitely can.” She hesitated for a moment before adding, “Can you keep a secret?”

Sylvie’s eyes widened. “Of course,” she said, her voice hushed.

“I've actually met Ladybug a few times,” she said. “You could say we're friends.”

Sylvie gasped. “ _Really?_ ” 

Marinette smiled. “Yes, really. And I think you should know that Ladybug would be so proud of you. In fact, next time I see her I'll tell her what you told me. I'm sure she would tell you that you're brave and beautiful and that you are more than strong enough to stand up to all the people bringing you down, Sylvie.”

Sylvie sniffled and wiped at her nose with her sleeve. “Thank you. Can I give you a hug to give to Ladybug?”

Marinette nodded, carefully swiping at her own teary eyes. “Of course you can.”

Sylvie wrapped her arms around her, and Marinette bent down to embrace the young girl, stroking her hair as Sylvie held her in a tight hug. After a few moments they let go, just as the receptionist called, “Sylvie? It's time for your appointment.”

Sylvie glanced at the receptionist before letting go of Marinette. “Thank you. Give Ladybug that hug for me,” she said as she was escorted inside.

“I already did,” Marinette whispered to herself.

Sylvie's father turned to Marinette. “My girl is rather shy, but she took a liking to you instantly.” He chuckled to himself. “I don't know what you did and said to her, but that was the happiest she looked in ages. Thank you.”

“The pleasure was mine. Sylvie is a sweetheart,” Marinette insisted, wiping at the last few tears in her eyes. 

The receptionist called, “Marinette? They're ready for your appointment.” Marinette stood up and waved at Sylvie's father, her watery smile still shining across her face.

The man shook his head, a combination of disbelief and happiness. “Are you secretly a superhero like Ladybug?”

Marinette giggled at that. If only he knew. 

“I'm Marinette,” she said, making her way out of the waiting room. “Just a normal girl with a normal life. But tell Sylvie that Ladybug says hello.”

Sylvie's father smiled. “I will. Goodbye, Marinette.”

Marinette waved back. “Goodbye.”

And with that, she turned around and walked into her therapist’s office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (fair warning: sappiness ahead, but it would mean the world if you read the whole thing!)
> 
> Oh my goodness. This has been almost SIX MONTHS in the making! I remember being stuck in quarantine way back in March and discovering this fandom while trying to find something to watch on Netflix. I remember looking for a fic to scratch an itch of mine, a story that discussed mental illness in a way that I just couldn't find at the time. Then, once it looked like we'd be dealing with this pandemic for more than just a few weeks, I knew I needed to pick up another hobby to stay busy during the summer. I've loved writing for a while, but I rarely wrote fanfiction and NEVER thought about making it public! 
> 
> When I had this story idea in mind, I didn't imagine anything like this. I have never written a story longer than 3,000 words, if that. It's wild for me to look back at earlier chapters and visibly watch my writing improve over time.
> 
> And all of YOU! Words cannot BEGIN to express how much it means to me that so many people resonated with my little story! All of the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks, it all makes me so happy and grateful that my ideas meant this much to you. I genuinely mean it when I say that I appreciate every single one of you 💗💗
> 
> Lastly, this arc of Mari's journey may be over but there's more in this universe to explore! I have a couple ideas for oneshots and maybe even a sequel, who knows 👀. BUT I want to thank you all by doing this: comment any requests or story ideas you have! long, short, whatever! if I think I can do a good job tackling it, I'll do my best to write it! I can't promise any specific deadlines, but I want to keep writing semi-regularly and keep all of you involved!
> 
> I can't thank you all enough for sticking with this story, and I'm excited to see what's in store for the future! Take care and I love you all 💗💗


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